Category Archives: Achieving Compliance

Protecting Kids Most at Risk for Cyber Harm (Guest: Dr. John DeGarmo)

The Changing Behavior Network, Radio Style InterviewDr. John DeGarmo shares how some youngsters are more at risk for cyber harm than others because of their needs, insecurities, and histories of difficulty. Listen in to this program from our archives as he discusses the dangers of unmonitored internet access, the problems it can create, and ways to manage issues more effectively.

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Protecting Kids Most at Risk for Cyber Harm, Dr. John DeGarmoFor most folks, the internet has been a valuable resource and an enormous time-saver. The internet is virtually unlimited in its capacity to provide, in the blink of an eye, needed information and resources. Lives have been saved because of the availability and speed of the internet.

But, as we all know, lives have been burdened and even destroyed through use of the internet, and many of them were children and teens.

Cyberbullying is a serious problem, as are cyber predators looking for vulnerable young people. There are websites showing one how to make weapons and bombs, as well as sites that not only show a young person how to take their life, but convince them to do so. According to our guest on this program, Dr. John DeGarmo, these cyber dangers are just the tip of the iceberg.

Listen in as your host, psychologist Dr. James Sutton, interviews Dr. DeGarmo on the dangers of unmonitored internet access, the problems it can create, and ways to manage issues more effectively.

Keeing Foster Children Safe Online, Dr. John DeGarmoDr. DeGarmo also shares how some youngsters are more at-risk for cyber harm because of their needs, their insecurities and their histories of difficulty. Foster children are especially vulnerable to this sort of harm, deception, inappropriate contact through the internet, but non-foster youngsters can be affected, also.

Dr. DeGarmo provides training nationally to foster parents on how to keep kids safe online. He and his wife are foster parents themselves; they practice these interventions every day. They work!

In addition to a busy speaking and training schedule, Dr. DeGarmo is the host of a weekly radio show, Foster Talk with Dr. John. He also writes extensively on the topic of foster care. Today we are featuring his book entitled, Keeping Foster Kids Safe Online. (27:46)

http://www.drjohndegarmofostercare.weebly.com

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3 Ways to Manage Your Unruly Child (Peggy Sealfon)

3 Ways to Manage Your Unruly Child, Peggy SealfonIf your child is continuously combative and disrespectful to you, imagine that same child at the age of 17 driving off in a car. If you do not reign in behaviors from early ages, you are dooming your child’s future and you are destined for a troubled relationship. Would you let your child eat bad foods, drink poisonous substances, or play with dangerous toys? Allowing out-of-control behaviors is toxic to the family and the child.

Always Testing Limits

Children are always testing their boundaries; a parent’s job is to define those limits clearly within the family structure. As a parent, you must be confident, kind and committed to what’s acceptable regardless of a child’s emotional reaction.

Know that crying is not a death sentence, it’s a growing experience. Discipline and accountability are key elements in raising well-balanced, well-adjusted children. If you allow unruly behavior at any age, your kids will assume it’s acceptable. Remember you’re not their friend, you’re their parent and you need to mentor them.

Three Ways …

Here are a few recommendations:

1. Develop family rules and be consistent in adhering to them. For instance, children should have chores around the house appropriate to their age. They should keep their rooms tidy and help with meals, cleanup, etc. When they do these tasks, offer positive reinforcements, such as saying, “I’m so fortunate to have such a thoughtful child who did all the dinner chores tonight without even being asked…Thank you.”

On the other hand, if they fail to perform the requested activities, you need to activate consequences. Be firm without raising your voice. If they misbehave at the dinner table or with their siblings, they lose privileges such as play dates, no TV, no games, no phone. Depending on the severity of the infraction, they may be confined to their room for a period to think about what they’ve done.

Consider a young adult who got fired from his job. Did he understand what would happen when he got caught with drugs on the drug test? It is important to teach children accountability: If you do something wrong, there are penalties. It’s okay if they learn to use an excuse with their peers for avoiding bad choices such as “My Dad will kill me if I do that.”

Escape from Anxiety, Peggy Sealfon2. Teach respectfulness and kindness. Help your child recognize feelings of gratitude. With young children, reinforce positive moments. For instance, if one child shares a toy with another, say aloud how happy and grateful the receiving child appears so it becomes a teachable moment.

Create a gratitude jar. Ask your child to write one thing they are grateful for each week and put the comment in a beautifully decorated jar. At the end of the month, spend time together as a family reviewing the entries. Words and notes of thanks should also be encouraged and can help children explore feelings of gratitude further.

When your child exhibits positive behaviors, take time to give a compliment.

Make volunteering part of your life by donating family time to help a charitable organization. Use such an opportunity to bring awareness about others who are less fortunate.

When Countess Stella Andrassy was growing up in a privileged household in her native Sweden, every Christmas her parents made sure that she and her siblings visited several homeless shelters to distribute gifts before they were permitted to enjoy their own holiday gifts. “It gave me greater appreciation for all that I had,” the Countess once shared with me. There are few things comparable to the feeling one experiences by helping someone else. Selflessness and kindness are important lessons so children aren’t always thinking about just themselves. You can help them expand their awareness so they’ll learn to enjoy doing things for others.

3. Be conscientious about setting a good example. Walk the walk by exhibiting values and integrity. Let them catch you doing the right stuff. For example, a cash machine delivers $120 when you requested $100. Exemplify the behavior you want to encourage by giving back the $20 in front of your children. Hold the door open for others so that you teach them respect and awareness.

Let children witness you taking care of yourself and dealing with life’s challenges in constructive ways. Show them how to relax with what is. Instead of focusing on problems, withdraw from any immediate dramas and pause for a time out to be able to see a clearer, more productive solution.

More than likely, you have all the basics for your survival. You may want more or are improving yourself but in this very moment, you’re okay. Let your children know that they’re okay. Create a sense of safety and security for your child full of love and support. In this parental environment, children thrive and grow to be valuable adults who contribute to a better world!

Give Yourself a Break

If you’re having difficulty getting centered yourself, try my free audio at 3MinutestoDestress.com. By taking a brief mental pause, you will refresh your mind and body. It will help you think more clearly, feel more energized, function more effectively, and ultimately reduce stress so that you’ll be more present and available for your children! ###

Peggy Sealfon is a personal development coach and author of the best-selling book, Escape from Anxiety—Supercharge Your Life with Powerful Strategies from A to Z. CLICK HERE for a free consultation with Peggy, or visit her website at PeggySealfon.com.

 

 

Giving Children Too Much Power (Christy Monson)

Giving Children Too Much Power, Christy MonsonJonathan, age three, had a sore throat and a hacking cough. He woke up about midnight, coughing and crying. He couldn’t breathe.

Dad held and rocked him for a little while and then gave Jonathan to Mom to cuddle while Dad ran to the store to get medicine.

Power Problems

After Jonathan took the medicine about 2 a.m., he wanted to watch a movie. Dad said it was time for bed, but Jonathan cried. Dad turned on the movie. Mom shook her head in disbelief and went back to bed. At 4 a.m. when the movie was over, Jonathan wanted to play. Dad and Jonathan built a tower of blocks until about 4:30 when Jonathan fell asleep. Dad carried him to the bedroom and then went to bed himself.

Solution: Structured Choices

In a situation like this, Jonathan, at age three, isn’t old enough to have good judgment. Dad and Mom need to be responsible for making these middle-of-the-night decisions. Giving some choices is a good diversionary tactic, especially at 2 a.m. when Jonathan is crying.

Dad can take him to bed, but Jonathan can decide:

Will the bedroom door be open or shut?
Do I want the hall light left on?
Will I snuggle my favorite teddy under the covers or keep him on my pillow?

Family Talk, Christy MonsonChildren need the opportunity to make selections. Learning this skill will be a great benefit to Jonathan as he gets older. A parent can give him the gift of democracy by establishing limited freedom with choices.

Start a Family Council

Family councils are a great place for youngsters like Jonathan to become proficient at decision-making as they up. Councils are a great venue for parents to teach children to brainstorm ideas, single out several choices, and pick the best one. Parents can plan together, work out their parenting styles, and teach their children how to be proactive. ###

Christy Monson has an M.S. in Counseling Psychology and Marriage & Family Therapy from University of Nevada at Las Vegas, and established a successful counseling practice in Las Vegas, Nevada. Check out her informative website [link].

 

Self-Reliance: What Are Our Children Capable Of? (Greg Warburton)

The Changing Behavior NetworkIn this article, Greg Warburton, experienced counselor and author of Ask More, Tell Less: A Practical Guide for Helping Children Achieve Self-Reliance, offers great insights into redirecting behavior problems by encouraging youngsters to become more self-reliant. This account comes from the book.

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Children instinctively want to do things by themselves at very early ages. Remember the “I CAN DO IT MYSELF!” call of the toddler?

Self-Reliance: What Are Our Children Capable Of? Greg WarburtonHow can parents foster rather than diminish their children’s early interest in self-reliant action and lead them toward a life of positive contribution? You will read in this story how self-reliant thought and action emerges for a six-year old when I set the stage with creative language, curiosity, quality questions and a belief in their capabilities.

Mary

I had been asked to meet with six-year-old Mary because her crying and inconsolability were increasing as her mother left for work each day. Mom had recently gone back to work because the family needed the extra money, but she was thinking of quitting her new job so she could again stay home and take care of Mary.

Three Special Questions

At our first meeting, Mary looked so small she almost disappeared as she sat on the edge of my office couch, feet dangling far above the floor. She earnestly listened to my three foundational questions. These quality questions, in which I used word-picture language, put the light of attention on Mary’s getting-on-with-growing-up challenge and instantly provided some practice for self-reliance, as viewed in her responses.

(Question #1) Have you made up your own mind about whether you plan to get on with growing up or growing down?

Growing up.

(Question #2) Are you the kind of child who likes to do your own thinking, or do you let others think for you?

Do my own thinking.

(Question #3) Are you the boss of your own life, or do you let others boss you?

(appearing amused): I’m the boss.

In an effort to understand Mary’s interpretation of the behavior trouble at home, I asked, “What do you call what you are doing that has your mother so upset?”

Mary’s word for the troubling behavior that was jeopardizing the family’s financial plans was CRYING, so I asked, “Can you be the boss of crying, or is crying the boss of you?”

“I can be the boss of crying,” Mary said.

Her answer was one indicator that, although this was only our first meeting, this young lady was starting to make up her mind to get on with growing up.

Another Question

As we began our second meeting, however, it was clear that the troubling behavior was continuing. Mary sat in my office with her head down. I asked her a very challenging question:

Mary, how much longer do you plan to practice crying when your mom leaves for work?

She was silent, still looking into her lap.

Ask More Tell Less, Greg WarburtonBelieving that she heard my question, I waited beyond the point of comfortable silence, yet she remained silent. I was getting ready to check in with her when she suddenly looked up at me with bright eyes, then clearly said, “I know I can’t keep crying for my whole life. I know I can’t always have my mom.”

At our next meeting, I asked Mary if things were better, the same, or worse with the crying trouble. Mary told me that she had stopped crying when her mother left for work, adding, “It didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would.” Telling herself the truth and admitting to herself what she had been experiencing led her to life-changing awareness at age six.

Recording “Growing Up” News

During a follow-up meeting with Mary’s parents, Mary and I had put her big ideas on big paper. (I playfully use chart-pack size paper to record growing-up news.) One of her parents took the big paper filled with her growing-up news out to their car, because Mary had said she wanted to put it up at home.

As we were discussing her progress with her parents, Mary announced that she had another idea to write on her paper. Neither of Mary’s parents were eager to go back out to their car to get the paper and bring it back into my office. They suggested they could just add the idea when they got home. But Mary stood firm and convinced us that she was serious and wanted to add her idea right then.

Given her insistence, we were all quite curious about why this was suddenly so important to Mary. Her father went out to the car and brought the paper back into my office. When we were all resettled, I asked Mary what idea she wanted to add.

“Do My Own Thinking,” she exclaimed.

I still remember feeling excited and emotionally moved by the fact that Mary knew that she could take charge of her life. No one asked her to do her own thinking about adding “Do My Own Thinking” to her list of big ideas; rather, she had begun taking charge of her life at age six! She now had a road map for how to help herself get on with growing up.

Children have the resources and innate abilities to handle whatever comes along. A parent’s task, then, is to assist children in getting clearer about their capabilities and practicing, practicing, practicing “I Can” thinking. They develop self-reliance when they are allowed to practice thinking and deciding for themselves, plus the successful completion of the tasks and activities they choose. ###

Speakers Group MemberGreg Warburton is an experienced mental health professional who believes that children and parents grow as they become more self-reliant. For more information about his work and this book, go to his website [link].

Surviving Your Adolescents (Guest: Dr. Tom Phelan)

BTRadioIntWhat do you do after you write a blockbuster parenting book like 1-2-3 Magic! Answer: You keep writing! That’s just what internationally renowned psychologist, Dr. Tom Phelan, did. The book we featured on The Changing Behavior Network when I did a 2012 interview with Dr. Phelan was Surviving Your Adolescents: How to Manage and Let Go of Your 13-18 Year Olds. Here’s a spot-on discussion of a tough topic with a leading parenting expert. –JDS

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Communication with adolescents can be an issue that leads to other concerns and problems. Fortunately, there are things parents can do, things that work!

The Snub

Dr Tom Phelan, Surviving Your AdolescentsSomewhere during adolescence, youngsters regress to speaking again (to their parents) in one or two-syllable sentences:

How was your day?

Fine.

What did you do in Social Studies today?

Nothing.

Our guest today, Dr. Tom Phelan, calls this teen behavior “The Snub.” It’s part of a stage of normal adolescent behavior and development. Dr. Phelan explains how to redirect “The Snub,” not with a “Re-Snub” (which can lead to a whole menu of trouble), but by changing the questions. It takes a little work, but it can be done.

Surviving Your Adolescents

There are, of course, deeper and more serious issues that affect our teens today,Surviving Your Adolescents, Dr. Tom Phelan and they are a substantial part of that often uncomfortable (and painfully slow, from their perspective) journey from child to adult. This program looks at the four most prominent areas of challenge and difficulty that lead to risky and unsafe behavior in adolescents: driving, drugs and alcohol, sex and romance, and technology. Dr. Phelan will explain how critical it is for parents to avoid emotional reactions to adolescent behavior, the Four Cardinal Sins of parents of teens, and other issues that only create more distance and conflict in the relationship.

Dr. Tom Phelan

A clincial psychologist, Dr. Phelan is an internationally renowned expert, author and lecturer on child discipline and Attention Deficit Disorder. He’s the author of Surviving Your Adolescents: How to Manage and Let Go of Your 13-18 Year Olds. His landmark book, a million seller plus, is 1-2-3 Magic! (27:32)

www.parentmagic.com

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Building Character Using Analogies from Nature (Guest: Barbara A. Lewis)

The Changing Behavior NetworkCharacter counts, and it always will. Barbara Lewis, nationally acclaimed educator and author of Building Character with True Stories from Nature, shares some excellent ways to teach principles of character using examples from animals and plants. From our archives we present, “Building Character Using Analogies from Nature.”

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Sometimes the best lessons in life are best NOT taught directly. Telling Tommy how he needs to be more helpful like his sister might only create resentment toward her with no change in his willingness to help others. So how do we effectively encourage desired behaviors and habits in youngsters like Tommy?

Teaching Positive Character Traits

Our guest on this program, Barbara A. Lewis, will show us a better way to emphasize and teach positive character traits by using analogies, true stories from the behaviors of animals (and even plants).

Since children are naturally drawn to stories and to animals, they not only attend to these analogies, they are stimulated to exercise higher-level thinking skills and, best of all, apply the message. Result: Moral development is enhanced, and youngsters are motivated to create positive changes in a natural and comfortable way.

Listen in as Barbara shares some stimulating and intriguing examples of what animals and plants can teach us about character.

Barbara A. Lewis

Barbara has earned national acclaim and many honors and awards for her work as a teacher and as an author. She encourages youngsters to apply their skills in solving real problems. In fact, while Barbara was a teacher at Jackson Elementary School in Salt Lake City, her students were deeply involved in numerous civic and environmental projects, garnering ten national awards, including two presentations of the President’s Environmental Youth Award.

Prominent print and broadcast media, including Newsweek, Family Circle, “CBS World News” and CNN, have featured Barbara and her work. The book we are featuring, written for parents and educators, is Building Character with True Stories from Nature. The book is published by Free Spirit Publishing. (26:22)

www.BarbaraALewis.com

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Memoirs of an ADHD Mind (Guest: Melissa Hood)

The Changing Behavior NetworkIf you’ve ever wondered what a child, teen or adult with ADHD experiences, here’s a first-hand account from Melissa Hood. The insights and interventions she offers are loaded with value. We present, “Memoirs of an ADHD Mind.”

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Missy Hood, Melissa Hood, Memoirs of an ADHD MindADHD

The diagnostic condition of ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) has been recognized and utilized by medical and mental health professionals for some time now. Medications and treatments for this condition can be quite effective.

That said, those folks who seldom encounter or work with individuals presenting this condition generally know very little about it. It’s easy to say to such a child, teen or adult, “You just need to concentrate on what you’re doing, that’s all,” or “You know, if you’d only think before you do some of the things you do, you wouldn’t get into so much trouble.”

Good Intentions, But …

Statements like these might mean well, but they don’t work very well. After all, if an ADHD youngster (or adult) could concentrate better or be less “scattered,” they would have accomplished it a long time ago. They struggle because their capabilities for concentration, focus and control over impulse are affected.

Memoirs of an ADHD Mind, Melissa HoodLessons from the “Inside”

In this program, guest Melissa (Missy) Hood, author of Memoirs of an ADHD Mind, takes us on a journey of what it feels like to struggle with a condition that can dramatically affect learning, behavior and relationships in so many ways.

In Missy’s case, she wasn’t officially diagnosed with ADHD until she was in her 20s. Listen in as she shares what it was like to struggle in her learning with some teachers, but not with others … and WHY. As an adult, Missy lost 40 jobs in 15 years. Her explanation of the “why” of these difficulties, and what we can all do to better work with and relate to ADHD-affected individuals, is insightful … and potentially life-changing.

Melissa Hood

Braced with the support of a few resourceful teachers, her understanding parents and a strong faith, Missy make it through some very difficult times.  College was a huge obstacle for her, but she eventually went on to earn both her bachelor’s and master’s degrees. Currently, Missy is a doctoral student earning her Doctor of Education degree in Transformational Leadership. And, of course, as an encourager, Missy is deeply involved in sharing her book and its message with as many folks as possible. (28:50)

www.MissyHood.com

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BONUS: Here’s a complimentary chart from Missy regarding structure and coping skills as they would apply to an ADHD-affected individual. [link]

 

 

Making Better Choices: Can’t-Wait Willow! (Guest: Christy Ziglar)

BTRadioInt-300x75-300x75I’ve had the privilege of interviewing Christy Ziglar on The Changing Behavior Network three times. This is the very first interview with Christy, conducted three years ago at the release of her first Shine Bright Kids book, Can’t-Wait Willow! Here we present “Making Better Choices: Can’t-Wait Willow!” –JDS

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It’s been said that, at any given point in our lives, we are the sum total of the choices we have made. For a child or an adult, those choices have a way of accumulating into success or heartache.

Making Better Choices

Christy Ziglar, The Shine Bright Kids, Can't-Wait Willow!, Making Better ChoicesEVERY choice we make matters. In fact, we are constantly faced with choices regarding what we eat, the effort we show at school or work, how we play, how we treat ourselves and others, and how we manage responsibility.

Christy shares in this program how it’s often not the “bad” versus “good” choices that cause us difficulty, but rather the “good” versus “better” or “best,” especially when we must wait to realize the best choices (delayed gratification). Choice points continue to remind us that some decisions can be a challenge to make.

Can’t-Wait Willow!

This is Christy’s first book in the Shine Bright Kids series, Can’t Wait Willow! In this well-told and beautifully-illustrated children’s book, Willow has her money and a plan to go to the circus, but she becomes distracted on the way to the big show. In the process, Willow learns a valuable lesson in making better choices.

Can’t-Wait Willow! is also the first of the Shine Bright Kids books to feature Ziggle, an iconic little character that helps kids pick up on the “good” or “not-so-good” direction of the story as it unfolds.

Christy Ziglar

Can't Wait Willow!, Christy Ziglar, Luanne MartenOur guest on this program, Christy Ziglar, is a niece of America’s Master Motivator, the late Zig Ziglar. Christy experienced first-hand how adults and children struggled with choices, choices that had substantial impact upon their lives. Banking on her skills in finance and money management, and the collected wisdom of her uncle Zig, Christy developed the Shine Bright Kids, a series of children’s books. All of them address key lessons in life.

In addition to being an author, Christy is also an experienced Certified Financial Planner, wife and mother. She and her family live in Atlanta. (28:08)

www.ShineBrightKids.com

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How to Be A Great Parent (Guest: Dr. Nancy Buck)

Dr. Nancy Buck, Peaceful ParentingThere is plenty of evidence to show that the brain processes negative factors quicker, longer and with more gusto than it processes the positive. We tend not to reflect on things that are going well, but just look at what we do when events and circumstances cause us concern.

What does this mean regarding how we communicate with our children and students? Answer: Just about EVERYTHING. Welcome to “How to Be a Great Parent.”

A Clash of Priorities

According to our guest on this program, developmental psychologist Dr. Nancy Buck, we want our kids to be SAFE. Our children, however, want to have FUN. These distinctly different priorities can clash into conflict. (It happens often, doesn’t it?) Nancy will show us how our typical responses in these situations can take a toll. In the process of unintended difficulty, relationships suffer.

How to Be a Great Parent, Nancy Buck

Understanding Wants and Needs

In this fast-paced and stimulating program, Nancy provides the research and rationale for better understanding a child’s wants and needs, as well as methods for redirecting youngsters in ways that are more successful and more pleasant. It takes a bit of practice, but it’s worth it.

Dr. Nancy Buck

Dr. Nancy Buck is the founder of Peaceful Parenting, Inc. She blogs regularly for Psychology Today, and she’s an in-demand speaker and presenter on the topic of effective parenting. Nancy is the author of the acclaimed book, Peaceful Parenting, as well as a just-released work, How to be a Great Parent: Understanding Your Child’s Wants and Needs. (29:17)

htpp://www.peacefulparenting.com

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Great Interventions Take Practice (Greg Warburton)

Greg Warburton, Ask More Tell LessFor years, I have been encouraging people of all ages to consider diligently practicing changes in thinking and/or behavior, ideally, with an attitude of mastery. Indeed, great interventions take practice.

We seem to be clear about the value of diligently practicing physical skills and technique in athletics, music and art. At the same time, however, we seem to be much less clear, or even unaware, about the need to practice using different parenting interventions or changes in thinking. Making a decision to diligently practice in these arenas will pay off.

A Need for Change

Let me share an example from my book, Ask More, Tell Less (Chapter Ten, “Drastically Decrease Lectures and Speeches”). Perhaps you have heard a child say something like, “I’m dumb,” or “I’m stupid,” or “I can’t learn.” In lecture mode, the conversation might go something like this:

(Parent) No, you’re not. You can do a lot of things and you’re smart. I don’t want you to keep saying those things about yourself. You know you won’t ever do well thinking that way. Besides, I don’t like seeing you so upset, so stop talking that way. Why do you keep saying such negative things about yourself anyway?

(Child) I don’t know.

(Parent) Well, please stop talking like that.

 

Here the beginning practice is noticing to build awareness; this type of parental communication shuts down the conversation and leaves the child powerless to think and decide for himself? Who is doing the thinking and talking in this example?

Ask More Tell Less, Greg WarburtonA New Framework

To create a framework for practicing in this arena of thinking/belief change, you might think in terms of the work-out language of physically “doing reps.” So one should begin parental practice by thinking in terms of doing thought-and-feeling-watching reps and mental-shift reps just like the reps in physical skill practices. You can decide to notice your thoughts and feelings 10, 20, 50 or 100 times a day, plus whether or not you need to make a mental shift from DON’T lecture unnecessarily to DO ask quality questions. Based on what thoughts your noticing practice produces, you can ask one additional question: “Will this thought/belief work for me or against me in achieving what I want in this situation with my child?”

Quality Question-Asking

As you practice building awareness of the long-term impact of thinking and doing too much for a child, imagine practicing shifting from giving a “lecture” like the one noted above, to practicing what I call quality question-asking. Right now, as you are reading this, practice noticing the felt mental-and-emotional shift when a parent stops lecturing and telling their child what to do and think and begins practicing asking thought-provoking questions like these:

How much longer do you plan to practice believing you’re stupid?

Does saying “I’m dumb” and “I can’t” help you make friends or lose friends?

If you stopped believing you’re stupid for just one second, what one new thought might sneak into your brain?

 

Rather than spending a lot of time telling your children what you think, spend the time skillfully asking them what they think. When some different action or behavior is necessary, begin by asking them what they plan to do.

Time to Reflect

Take a moment to practice reflecting. Here are some questions to get you started:

Can you imagine making this shift from telling to asking?

Can you see the efficacy of asking a single question which replaces the typical lectures children are given when the desire is for the child to change?

Can you see how this question-asking practice takes some of the pressure off of the parent who is anguishing over figuring out the just right thing to do or say?

Are you the kind of person who sticks with new practices or do you notice you give up and revert back to old, known ways? ###

Greg Warburton is an experienced mental health professional who believes that children and parents grow as they become more self-reliant. For more information about his work and this book, go to his website [link].