Tag Archives: How Do I Tell The Kids About the Divorce?

10th Anniversary of International Child-Centered Divorce Month (Guest: Rosalind Sedacca, CDC)

Radio-style Interview, The Changing Behavior NetworkIt was a joy once again for me to visit with Rosalind about the important work of those advocating child-centered divorce. From an idea to a worldwide mission, Rosalind has steered a steady course over the years, and the positive impact has been noted in the lives of young people. But there’s plenty of work yet to do, so listen in as we bring you “10th Anniversary of International Child-Centered Divorce Month.” –JDS

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10th Anniversary of International Child-Centered Divorce Month, Rosalind Sedacca

International Child-Centered Divorce Month

January has been established as International Child-Centered Divorce Month. January of 2017 is the 10th anniversary of ICCDM and its outreach in helping parents, therapists, attorneys, educators, mediators and other divorce specialists focus on the needs of children and teens when divorce plans are being made.

Many free resources and gifts related to child-centered divorce are being offered during International Child-Centered Divorce Month. You won’t want to miss a single part of this excellent opportunity.

To help us understand more clearly the importance and methodology of child-centered divorce is our special guest, Rosalind Sedacca, Certified Divorce Coach and the Voice of Child-Centered Divorce. Rosalind will emphasize, using her own story, why the needs of children should be a priority in divorce, how best to explain divorce to one’s own children and why a child-centered, collaborative approach is so important.

International Child-Centered Divorce Month, Child-Centered Divorce Network

Rosalind Sedacca

Rosalind is the author of an innovative storybook approach to communicating divorce to a child, an approach that informs while it supports and upholds a youngster’s identity, dignity and sense of value. Her diligence and effort resulted in a successful and highly acclaimed e-book entitled, How Do I Tell the Kids About the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children –With Love.

Rosalind’s work with the Child-Centered Divorce Network, which she founded, has been acknowledged on five continents worldwide. In her speaking, writing, blogging and media appearances, Rosalind continues to share the message of child-centered divorce. The International Child-Centered Divorce Month is yet another way to showcase what is being done. The link below takes you to the website and a free e-book from Rosalind, Post Divorce Parenting: Success Strategies for Getting It Right. (29:09)

www.divorcedparentsupport.com/ebook

 

TO LISTEN, use the player below or left-click the link. To access the file right-click and “Save Link as …” to save to your audio device), CLICK HERE FOR LINK


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Back to School After Divorce: Tips to Help Your Kids! (Rosalind Sedacca, CDC)

BTSpReportReturning to school after a summer break marked by the divorce of the parents would be a challenge for any youngster. Rosalind Sedacca, founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network, offers some great tips to help these kids make the best of the support available at school. We present, “Back to School After Divorce: Tips to Help Your Kids!”

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Back to school after divorce, tips to help your kids, rosalind sedaccaMany divorces take place during the summer. This timing can help families adapt to the changes ahead. But it also makes returning to school a challenge for most children. Fortunately, there are ways to ease the transition by tapping into the many resources available through the school. That’s why it’s wise to develop a cooperative relationship with key school personnel.

Communicate with the School

Start by informing your child’s teachers about the divorce and any changes in your home environment. The more aware they are, the better prepared they can be to help your child. After all, school is often a second home for children – and that may be very comforting during this time of transition.

We can’t expect children to not be affected by the divorce. So expect raw emotions to come to the surface, including fear, shame, guilt and many forms of insecurity. Be aware that these complex feelings are likely to affect a child’s focus and self-esteem, as well as relationships with their friends – not to mention the impact on their academic performance.

Take advantage of the fact that most children trust and feel safe with their teachers. So schedule a conversation with them before the school year starts. Discuss the status of your post-divorce arrangements. Having the teacher as an ally can help your child feel more secure and less alone.

Child-Centered Divorce Network, Rosalind SedaccaUtilize the School’s Resources

The following suggestions can guide parents in using school system resources to your child’s advantage:

Teachers can look for signs of distress or depression in your child. Being compassionate by nature, teachers can talk with your child about their feelings. They can let your child know they are not the blame. Nor are they the only kids at school going through these difficulties. Messages like this can reinforce prior conversations you’ve already had with your child. It also reassures them to know that the divorce is not a big dark secret. It can be discussed candidly without shame.

Talk with your child’s guidance counselor. These professionals are a valuable resource; they are trained to handle challenging circumstances. They can be an ally to you and your children, and they can be counted on for support and guidance.

Look at these educators as members of your child’s support team. They have the background to detect signs of depression, aggression or other behavior changes that need to be addressed with you as soon as possible. So ask them to be attentive toward your child.

Be sure to take advantage of divorce support groups at school. These groups are designed to encourage children to talk with one another, sharing their feelings during or after the divorce. It’s helpful to know they’re not alone, that they’re accepted, and that others are facing or have experienced similar life-altering circumstances. That awareness gives children a sense of belonging. Many children make new friends with others who are sharing their experiences. The less alone a child feels, the easier it is to accept the challenges they will be facing in the weeks and months to come.

Of course, schools cannot replace parental responsibilities. It’s essential to talk to your child before they return to school. Prepare them for changes in routine or scheduling they might encounter. Inform them about those they can talk to at school if they are feeling sad or have questions about adjusting to new situations.

Let school be your child’s best friend at this time. It can be a great support system for your family if you take advantage of the experience and useful resources available. ###

Speakers Group MemberRosalind Sedacca, CDC is a Divorce & Parenting Coach, founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network and author of How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children — with Love! For Rosalind’s free ebook on Post-Divorce Parenting, coaching services, articles and other valuable resources on divorce and parenting issues, go to: www.childcentereddivorce.com.

 

Recognizing January as Child-Centered Divorce Month (Interview with Rosalind Sedacca)

What is International Child-Centered Divorce Month?

ICCD Month is dedicated to alerting parents about the effects of divorce on children – and how to prevent emotional and psychological damage to children during and after a divorce.

RSedaccaPhotoIn recognition of International Child-Centered Divorce Month divorce experts around the world will be providing free ebooks, video programs, coaching services, teleseminars and other gifts to divorcing and divorced or separated parents throughout January.

What is the purpose of ICCD Month?

More divorces get initiated in January, following the holiday season, than in any other month. That’s why as a Divorce & Parenting Coach and founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network, I chose January to commemorate International Child-Centered Divorce Month every year. ICCD Month is dedicated to alerting parents about the harm to their children when divorce isn’t handled effectively. Repeated studies show that it isn’t divorce per se that damages children. It’s the mistakes that unaware parents make before, during and after divorce that does the harm.

Our purpose is education and mistake prevention. We want to encourage mediation instead of damaging litigation, respectful co-parenting, effective communication skills, and guide parents away from common mistakes that scar children, teens and adult children of divorce.

This is accomplished by providing content-rich products and services that inform and enlighten – all free!

Who are the Expert participants?

Intl Child-Centered Divorce Month logo - newDivorce attorneys, mediators, therapists, financial planners, coaches, educators and other professionals on four continents will be participating. Their goal is to promote peaceful divorce, cooperative co-parenting, and educating parents about how to prevent negative consequences for children affected by separation or divorce.

These family-focused divorce experts from around the world will be joining us to bring a heightened awareness to parents about their responsibility to their children’s well-being before, during and after divorce. They will do this by offering complimentary gifts as well as teleseminars and other events for divorcing and divorced parents.

What’s being offered this year?

Participating experts are providing valuable advice and insights about parenting effectively during and long after divorce — available in several digital formats: ebooks, videos, audio programs, coaching services and more – all free of charge! Just select as many gifts as you desire and click the link to download each one.

How does ICCD Month help children and teens?

We can never overemphasize how parental decisions about divorce can affect and scar children – for years – and often for a lifetime. Our resounding message to divorcing parents is: Regardless of your own emotional state, it is essential to put your children’s needs first when making decisions related to divorce or separation! Often that means letting go of anger and resentment in favor of co-operative co-parenting so your children aren’t robbed of their childhood.

My goal is to catch divorcing parents before they make mistakes they will regret when it comes to their children’s emotional wellbeing. By bringing the world’s legal, therapeutic and educational communities together we can reach out with messages designed to encourage peaceful divorce outcomes. Too many parents divorcing today don’t realize that they have many reasonable choices and viable options for parenting after divorce. They don’t have to walk the path we too often see in the headlines. Cooperative co-parenting and harmonious divorces are not only possible; they’re the direction to choose if you want to minimize the negative effects of divorce on everyone in the family.

How can our readers participate?

The Child-Centered Divorce Network has created a special website where parents can access all the valuable gifts by simply clicking links. The website will be available throughout January at http://www.divorcedparentsupport.com/ebook.

Just enter your email address on the sign-up page and you’ll get my free ebook on Post-Divorce Parenting. Then click on the GIFT page to download as many complimentary gifts as you desire from divorce experts around the globe.

What else is available at the ICCD Website?

Parents can also find listings of free expert interviews, teleseminars, webinars and other special events being held during January on the Events Calendar at the same website: http://www.divorcedparentsupport.com/ebook.

What feedback have you received from previous ICCD Months?

Parents not only appreciate the wonderful resource choices available to them, they also make connections with divorce experts on four continents. These family-focused professionals offer additional services and resources to help parents create a peaceful divorce, transition beyond divorce, co-parent effectively, explore dating and new relationships and help their children thrive in the months and years ahead.

What has touched you the most about ICCD Month?

I am so impressed with the dedication, thoughtfulness and compassion of the experts participating in ICCD Month each year. Their contributions make this such a significant and meaningful event that benefits both parents and children alike.

For more information about International Child-Centered Divorce Month plus access to all the free gifts and special events taking place in January please visit: http://www.divorcedparentsupport.com/ebook.

Would you tell us something about yourself?

When my son was eleven years old I initiated my divorce and was riddled with guilt, anxiety and apprehension about how it was going to affect him. After weeks of sleepless nights I came up with a way of breaking the divorce news to my son, which took the form of a personal family storybook with photos and text. After successfully co-parenting and raising him to adulthood, I decided to turn my concept into a customizable ebook with fill-in-the-blank templates. That ultimately became my internationally-acclaimed How Do I Tell the Kids About the Divorce: A Create a Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children – With Love!

Following that I founded the Child-Centered Divorce Network, which provides expert advice, interviews, programs, coaching services and a host of valuable resources for parents coping with the effects of divorce on their family. I am also co-host of The Divorce View Talk Show and podcast.

Watch show interviews at http://www.divorceview.com. Access all the resources at the Child-Centered Divorce Network at http://www.childcentereddivorce.com. ###

Misunderstanding Your Child’s Emotional Awareness After Divorce … Teens, Too! (Rosalind Sedacca, CTT)

BTAboutThemParenting is always complex. Parenting following a divorce can add many other layers of distraction and confusion to the mix. That makes it even more important for parents to be aware of how their children are responding to the divorce.

RSedaccaPhotoOne common error parents make is that of misunderstanding the stage of development their children are at which can lead to unrealistic expectations. Too often parents will assume that their child possesses a better handle on their emotions and a deeper understanding of human nature than is really possible at their age. So when their child acts out or otherwise misbehaves, it’s easy to misconstrue their intentions.

Parents mistakenly see these small beings as little adults who bring adult reasoning and comprehension to daily circumstances. With that mindset, it’s easy to get disappointed when our child’s behavior doesn’t live up to our expectations.

When divorce enters the family dynamic, we often forget that our children are processing their feelings with limited skills and emotional awareness. We all know the complexities of divorce can become an enormous challenge for adults. Imagine the ramifications on youngsters or even teens!

Give your kids a break. How unfair (and unrealistic) is it to expect your children to fully understand what Mom and Dad are going through and then respond with compassion? Emotional maturity doesn’t fully develop until well into our twenties. Yet divorced parents frequently put the burden on their children to be empathetic, understanding and disciplined in their behavior when they themselves struggle to access those mature attributes themselves.

Parents can be especially misguided in their expectation about teens. By nature teenagers are very self-absorbed. They don’t yet have the full capacity to put others’ needs ahead of their own. In addition, most teens are not very future-focused, nor are they motivated by lectures about consequences. Part of the parenting process is to role model positive traits and to demonstrate the advantages of setting goals, planning ahead for the future, etc. Unrealistic parental expectations lead to needless conflicts with our teens which can easily result in a sense of confusion, insecurity, guilt or shame within their fragile psyches. Why get angry at your teen for not displaying adult maturity at a time when your own maturity may certainly be at question?

By understanding your children’s stages of emotional development as they grow, you are less likely to make the mistake of confiding information they can’t psychologically handle or asking them to play the role of mediator, therapist or personal spy. You’ll be more likely to have reasonable expectations for them and refrain from feeling disappointed when your child behaves as the child they still are! ###

Rosalind Sedacca, CCT, is a Divorce & Parenting Coach and author of How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children — with Love! For her free ebook on Post-Divorce Parenting, free articles, coaching services and valuable resources on divorce and parenting issues, visit: http://www.childcentereddivorce.com.

 

In the Spotlight (Rosalind Sedacca & Dr. John Mayer)

BTSpotlightRosalind Sedacca

Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is a Divorce & Parenting Coach and Founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network for parents. She’s also the author of How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children – with Love! This unique ebook doesn’t just tell you what to say, it provides age-appropriate, customizable templates that say it for you!

RSedaccaPhotoRosalind provides telephone coaching services on parenting skills during and after divorce. She also offers teleseminars, group coaching programs and a comprehensive Mastering Child-Centered Divorce 10-hr. Audio Coaching program with workbook that is downloaded around the world. Rosalind is the co-host of the Divorce View Talk Show, where she interviews compassionate divorce experts on crucial topics relevant to parents. Past shows are archived here [link].

Rosalind is an Expert Blogger for The Huffington Post, JenningsWire, KidzEdge Magazine, CBS News Eye on Parenting, The Examiner as well as Exceptional People Magazine. She’s also an Expert Advisor at ParentalWisdom.com, a Contributing Expert for Divorce360.com, and most of the largest divorce and parenting websites and blogs. Her ChildCenteredDivorce.com blog was selected as the No. 1 blog on the Best Resources for Divorced Parents and Separated Families list. Rosalind has also co-authored an 8-hr and 12-hr Online Anger Management Program for Co-Parents and high conflict families. Learn more here [link].

Rosalind’s newest book, co-authored with Amy Sherman LMHC, is: 99 Things Women Wish They Knew Before Dating After 40, 50 & Yes, 60! It’s packed with wisdom for women who are moving on after divorce and are ready to create a loving, lasting and fulfilling relationship in the years ahead. Learn more here [link].

300x300_webmediafxAs an international speaker and workshop facilitator, Rosalind provides live programs and teleseminars on issues related to Child-Centered Divorce as well as dating after divorce and successful relationship skills. To learn more about her books, e-courses and Divorce Coaching Services visit www.childcentereddivorce.com.

For an excellent, free resource on post-divorce parenting written by Rosalind, go to our section of complimentary materials from our guests. To hear Rosalind’s interviews with Dr. Sutton, use the search box on the right by entering “Rosalind Sedacca.”

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Dr. John Mayer

JMayerphotoDr. John Mayer is a clinical psychologist with experience in working with children, adolescents and families. His specialty is working with deeply troubled and violent teens and young adults. For this reason, he is a go-to consultant to law enforcement nationally and in his home area of Chicago.

In addition to being the author of over 60 professional articles, mostly on family life, Dr. Mayer has written 20 books, a screenplay and a stage play. He has also received a contract for his first novel, Shadow Warrior, to be developed into a major motion picture. Although Dr. Mayer’s most recent book, An Anger at Birth, is a work of fiction, it contains insights into pathological, violent and extremely dangerous teen behavior, precisely the sort we see in the news regularly.

JMayerAngerBookcoverTo say An Anger at Birth is an eye-opener would be an understatement. The plot finds a city paralyzed by fear after a series of violent crimes that break an ultimate taboo: harming infants and young children. The police suspect a pedophile; the media fuel fears of a violent new gang. Meanwhile, a street-smart shrink and a hard-nosed cop defy a raging time bomb that’s planning an ultimate attack on innocents. Based on actual events, this chilling, fast-paced novel pulls the reader into the world of violent, troubled individuals–and what can happen when we fail to help them.

Here’s a short video trailer for the book:

Use this link to learn more about Dr. Mayer’s books [link]; this link will take you to his clinical website [link]. He has also provided an article, “When Your Teen Seems Angry: 7 Things to Look For and 7 Things to Do;” it can be found in the section of this site featuring free materials from our guest specialists.

To access Dr. Sutton’s radio-style interviews with Dr. Mayer on The Changing Behavior Network, use the search box on the right, entering “Dr. John Mayer”.

Child-Centered Divorce: Getting It Right, Part Two (Guest: Rosalind Sedacca)

RSedaccaPhotoCouples don’t marry so they can divorce. But, as we all know, divorce is a reality of society and of life. Regardless of the circumstances, divorce brings changes.

How does divorce affect the children involved? Are there signs that signal they are having difficulty? How do we explain and prepare them for a divorce, and how does a parent communicate with their former spouse regarding the activities and welfare of their children?

These are critical and challenging questions; children and teens depend on us to answere them well. Our guest on this program, Rosalind Sedacca, the Voice of Child-Centered Divorce, is an experienced expert on this topic. We are fortunate to feature her in this extended two-part interview.

How Do I Tell the KidsPhotoNot only will Rosalind point out the challenges and pitfalls divorced parents need to address, she will share about a proven, story-based method for explaining divorce and it’s resulting changes to the children. Her approach makes sense, and young people clearly benefit from it.

Rosalind is not only the founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network, she is a contributing expert, author and popular guest blogger on this critically important topic. She is the author of the internationally acclaimed ebook, How Do I Tell The Kids About the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children–With Love. (23:22)

http://www.childcentereddivorce.com

TO LISTEN, use the player below or left-click the link. To access the file right-click and “Save Link as …” to save to your audio device), CLICK HERE FOR LINK


(START/STOP Audio)

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Child-Centered Divorce: Getting it Right, Part One (Guest: Rosalind Sedacca)

RSedaccaPhotoCouples don’t marry so they can divorce. But, as we all know, divorce is a reality of society and of life. Regardless of the circumstances, divorce brings changes.

How does divorce affect the children involved? Are there signs that signal they are having difficulty? How do we explain and prepare them for a divorce, and how does a parent communicate with their former spouse regarding the activities and welfare of their children?

These are critical and challenging questions; children and teens depend on us to answere them well. Our guest on this program, Rosalind Sedacca, the Voice of Child-Centered Divorce, is an experienced expert on this topic. We are fortunate to feature her in this extended two-part interview.

How Do I Tell the KidsPhotoNot only will Rosalind point out the challenges and pitfalls divorced parents need to address, she will share about a proven, story-based method for explaining divorce and it’s resulting changes to the children. Her approach makes sense, and young people clearly benefit from it.

Rosalind is not only the founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network, she is a contributing expert, author and popular guest blogger on this critically important topic. She is the author of the internationally acclaimed ebook, How Do I Tell The Kids About the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children–With Love. (23:22)

http://www.childcentereddivorce.com

TO LISTEN, use the player below or left-click the link. To access the file right-click and “Save Link as …” to save to your audio device), CLICK HERE FOR LINK


(START/STOP Audio)

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January is International Child-Centered Divorce Month (Guest: Rosalind Sedacca)

RSedaccaPhotoJanuary is International Child-Centered Divorce Month. Through the tireless efforts of Rosalind Sedacca, the Voice of Child-Centered Divorce, emphasis in addressing the needs of children in the context of divorce is growing in priority and practice worldwide. More and more, divorce attorneys, mediators, coaches, financial planners, educators and therapists are integrating child-centered principles and are more than pleased with the results.

Intl Child-Centered Divorce Month logo - newListen as Rosalind shares the story of her own divorce as she explains how and why she chose a child-centered approach, and how these early efforts grew into her work today as a Divorce and Parenting Coach and founder of The Child-Centered Divorc Network. And, of course, Rosalind will share the many (FREE) opportunities and resources being offered to parents world-wide during International Child-Centered Divorce Month.

Rosalind is a contributing expert, author and guest blogger on the topic of child-centered divorce, and she is the author of the internationally acclaimed, innovative and creative ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids About the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children–with Love. (25:44)

www.divorcedparentsupport.com/ebook

TO LISTEN, use the player below or left-click the link. To access the file right-click and “Save Target as …” to save to your audio device), CLICK HERE FOR LINK

Email this page

Child-Centered Divorce: Getting It Right, Part Two (Guest: Rosalind Sedacca)

RSedaccaPhotoCouples don’t marry so they can divorce. But, as we all know, divorce is a reality of society and of life. Regardless of the circumstances, divorce brings changes.

How does divorce affect the children involved? Are there signs that signal they are having difficulty? How do we explain and prepare them for a divorce, and how does a parent communicate with their former spouse regarding the activities and welfare of their children?

These are critical and challenging questions; children and teens depend on us to answere them well. Our guest on this program, Rosalind Sedacca, the Voice of Child-Centered Divorce, is an experienced expert on this topic. We are fortunate to feature her in this extended two-part interview.

How Do I Tell the KidsPhotoNot only will Rosalind point out the challenges and pitfalls divorced parents need to address, she will share about a proven, story-based method for explaining divorce and it’s resulting changes to the children. Her approach makes sense, and young people clearly benefit from it.

Rosalind is not only the founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network, she is a contributing expert, author and popular guest blogger on this critically important topic. She is the author of the internationally acclaimed ebook, How Do I Tell The Kids About the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children–With Love. (23:52)

http://www.childcentereddivorce.com

TO LISTEN, use the player below or left-click the link. To access the file right-click and “Save Target as …” to save to your audio device), CLICK HERE FOR LINK


(START/STOP Audio)

Child-Centered Divorce: Getting It Right, Part One (Guest: Rosalind Sedacca)

RSedaccaPhotoCouples don’t marry so they can divorce. But, as we all know, divorce is a reality of society and of life. Regardless of the circumstances, divorce brings changes.

How does divorce affect the children involved? Are there signs that signal they are having difficulty? How do we explain and prepare them for a divorce, and how does a parent communicate with their former spouse regarding the activities and welfare of their children?

These are critical and challenging questions; children and teens depend on us to answere them well. Our guest on this program, Rosalind Sedacca, the Voice of Child-Centered Divorce, is an experienced expert on this topic. We are fortunate to feature her in this extended two-part interview.

How Do I Tell the KidsPhotoNot only will Rosalind point out the challenges and pitfalls divorced parents need to address, she will share about a proven, story-based method for explaining divorce and it’s resulting changes to the children. Her approach makes sense, and young people clearly benefit from it.

Rosalind is not only the founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network, she is a contributing expert, author and popular guest blogger on this critically important topic. She is the author of the internationally acclaimed ebook, How Do I Tell The Kids About the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children–With Love. (23:22)

http://www.childcentereddivorce.com

TO LISTEN, use the player below or left-click the link. To access the file right-click and “Save Target as …” to save to your audio device), CLICK HERE FOR LINK


(START/STOP Audio)

CLICK HERE to go to Part Two