Tag Archives: Jack Canfield

From Incorrigible to Incredible: What Toby Taught Us, Part 2 (Guest: Charmaine Hammond)

  • URadio-style Interview, The Changing Behavior NetworkAnimals sometimes can teach us much about acceptance, compassion and healing. Toby did just that, as shared here by his owner, author Charmaine Hammond.
This interview comes from the very early archives of The Changing Behavior Network. This is part two of a two-part program.

………………..

From Incorrigible to Incrtedible: What Toby Taught Us, Charmaine HammondWhen Charmaine Hammond and her husband, Chris, adopted a five-year-old Chesapeake Bay retriever named Toby, little did they know what the next few years held in store.

Therapy Dog

Charmaine and Chris were tempted to give up on the big dog, but they didn’t. In return, Toby became an award-winning pet-assisted therapy dog and, in his brief lifetime, achieved Chicken Soup fame and left an indelible paw print in the hearts of all those he touched.

This is a story of love, patience, dedication and faithfulness. It shows us, once again, what can be accomplished when we accept others unconditionally.

Charmaine Hammond

Charmaine is a professional speaker and seminar leader from theOn Toby's Terms, Charmaine Hammond Edmonton area of Alberta. She travels the US and Canada speaking on topics of communication and team building to corporate audiences. But Charmaine continues to promote the values of kindness and caring to Toby’s favorite audience: school children. (17:54)

For more information about A Million Acts of Kindness: Toby’s Global Mission, the movie currently being made on Toby’s life and story, Charmaine’s work as a speaker/trainer, or her heartwarming bestseller, On Toby’s Terms, go to this website:

www.OnTobysTerms.com

TO LISTEN, use the player below or left-click the link. To access the file right-click and “Save Target as …” to save to your audio device), CLICK HERE FOR LINK


(START/STOP Audio)

From Incorrigible to Incredible: What Toby Taught Us, Part 1 (Guest: Charmaine Hammond)

Radio-style Interview, The Changing Behavior NetworkAnimals sometimes can teach us much about acceptance, compassion and healing. Toby did just that, as shared here by his owner, author Charmaine Hammond.
This interview comes from the very early archives of The Changing Behavior Network. This is part one of a two-part program.

………………..

From Incorrigible to Incrtedible: What Toby Taught Us, Charmaine HammondWhen Charmaine Hammond and her husband, Chris, adopted a five-year-old Chesapeake Bay retriever named Toby, little did they know what the next few years held in store.

Therapy Dog

Charmaine and Chris were tempted to give up on the big dog, but they didn’t. In return, Toby became an award-winning pet-assisted therapy dog and, in his brief lifetime, achieved Chicken Soup fame and left an indelible paw print in the hearts of all those he touched.

This is a story of love, patience, dedication and faithfulness. It shows us, once again, what can be accomplished when we accept others unconditionally.

Charmaine Hammond

Charmaine is a professional speaker and seminar leader from theOn Toby's Terms, Charmaine Hammond Edmonton area of Alberta. She travels the US and Canada speaking on topics of communication and team building to corporate audiences. But Charmaine continues to promote the values of kindness and caring to Toby’s favorite audience: school children. (15:32)

For more information about A Million Acts of Kindness: Toby’s Global Mission, the movie currently being made on Toby’s life and story, Charmaine’s work as a speaker/trainer, or her heartwarming bestseller, On Toby’s Terms, go to this website:

www.OnTobysTerms.com

CLICK HERE to go to Part 2

TO LISTEN, use the player below or left-click the link. To access the file right-click and “Save Target as …” to save to your audio device), CLICK HERE FOR LINK


(START/STOP Audio)

Forgiving My Father … Again (Keith Zafren)

Keith sent in this article some time ago. I asked him if I could save it for a Father’s Day piece on The Changing Behavior Network. It carries a powerful message that needs to be shared. Thanks, Keith for your willingness to share something so close to your heart. We present, “Forgiving My Father … Again.” –JDS

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Keith Zafren, The Great Dads ProjectIn my book, How to Be a Great Dad—No Matter What Kind of Father You Had, I wrote a chapter on “Forgiving Our Fathers.” It was an emotionally moving chapter to write because I have spent years (and thousands of dollars in therapy) working out my painful relationship with my dad, learning to see him as a man in pain himself, owning the good that he did bring to our relationship, growing in compassion for the life he lived—and endured—and forgiving him for the many things he did and did not do that hurt me.

Jack Called It

 A few years back, I completed Jack Canfield‘s year-long Train the Trainer course. During one of the training weeks, I asked Jack in the public session a question about my business and an issue I felt frustrated by. I was looking for some business advice. I got way more than I bargained for (as is often the case with Jack).

He “processed” me in front of the group about this issue that actually led right back to my dad’s rejection of me. I had no idea when I asked my business question that the situation I felt frustrated and a bit angry about was in fact also an emotional trigger of a past experience with my dad.

It was my final experience of my dad—the day he told me he didn’t want to be my dad. Those were the last words I ever heard him speak to me.

Keith Zafren, How to Be a Great DadLingering Pain and Sadness

We had no contact after that for over a year. Then I received a phone call from his landlord informing me my father had been found dead of heart failure in his apartment.

He was alone.

After twenty-three years of working out my pain and forgiving him for so much, I now realized I had not yet resolved that last rejection. Because it was so painful, and perhaps more importantly, because it turned out to be so final when my dad died, that rejection got stuck in my psyche as somewhat of an independent rejection, somehow split off from all the other pain associated with missing my dad and feeling his repeated rejections of me.

It was as if those final words were frozen in time.

Even after fourteen years since his passing, those words touched a place of deep sadness in me. I had allowed his words to define me as a fatherless son, and my heart still ached.

Time to Do More Work

Jack asked me questions that led me to see that it was me, not my father, who was still causing the ache in my psyche, telling myself that I was somehow not okay, that I wasn’t a good son, that I must have done something wrong that contributed to—or even caused—my dad’s rejecting tone and words.

My dad was gone, but I had kept his voice alive in my head and heart all these years around this final interaction.

When I encountered other men since then who disapproved of me in some way, even if I just perceived that disapproval, it would often trigger this same feeling of sadness and anger I harbored deep within me toward my dad due to his final disapproval. And I would sometimes respond to the man triggering this feeling with some of the emotion I still felt toward my dad.

Jack helped me see it was time to let all this go. It was time to release my dad from the judgment I felt toward him for not wanting to be my dad, and the judgment with which I viewed myself (that I had done something wrong). It was time to forgive my dad for rejecting me, and to forgive myself for judging my dad for doing so.

I chose to forgive—to finally let this rejection go as well. I chose in that moment, and the days that followed, to release my dad, and to release myself, from judgment.

The Difference It Made

The freedom has been remarkable since. I feel at peace—finally. I’m not worried any longer about the disapproval some may feel towards me, at times. It’s no longer tied to nor does it trigger pain I’m harboring inside me. That pain has been healed through forgiveness.

I’ve let my dad rest in peace.

And I’ve been living in peace from that day forward.

I see what a difference it makes for me in being more present to my kids as well. Because I am at peace, because I am not feeling my dad’s rejection, I am more free to fully give myself to my boys, to love them the way they need me, and to not worry about anything.

I had no idea my lack of forgiveness was affecting me as much as it was. But I can see it now because of how free I feel to love my boys.

Remember, great dads shape great kids.

Great dads let go of the past to be more fully engaged in the present.

Be a great dad today.###

 

Keith Zafren is the founder of The Great Dads Project and author of the award-winning book, How to Be a Great Dad—No Matter What Kind of Father You Had. Keith has spent seventeen years learning firsthand how to raise three great teenagers and stay close to them, no matter what. He coaches busy dads not to repeat the mistakes their fathers made, but instead, to create fantastic relationships with their kids. Check out his FREE video training course.

Healing the Father Wound (Guest: Keith Zafren)

BTRadioIntAn autographed copy of Keith Zafren’s book, How to be a Great Dad: No Matter What Kind of Dad You Had, will be given away June 18th in a drawing from the Support Forum membership.

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The Father Wound is a powerful and descriptive concept; it’s all too real to many. It represents the emotional damage done to an individual by a male parent. Intentionally inflicted or not, a Father Wound can run deep and stay there, robbing one of much joy and purpose in life.

KZafrenphotoFather Wounds can be blatant and obvious, as with a father that is consistently absent, abusive, compulsive or addicted. In other cases, Father Wounds are more subtle, as in the case of a father that is physically present but emotionally absent, harsh, judgmental or critical, or the father that had difficulty showing support and expressing affection to his children. It’s very possible the father in this instance was himself wounded as a child.

Too often, wounded individuals feel they are to blame for the hurts they suffer. Consequently, the Father Wound is buried and covered over, but it doesn’t go away. These folks then become at risk for wounding their own children.

KZafrenBookHere’s the good news: Father Wounds CAN be healed. Our guest on this program, Keith Zafren, author and founder of The Great Dads Project, understands the Father Wound all too well; he experienced it. But Keith also experienced the healing of the Father Wound, and he graciously shares his research, findings and practices regarding intervention. He will walk us through the steps and processes involved in getting to a point of peace and purpose, a place where hurts of the past no longer hinder one’s present.

Keith is a Jack Canfield certified Success Skills Trainer and the author of the award-winning book, How to Be a Great Dad: No Matter What Kind of Father You Had. Through his years of work as a pastor, as a founding board member and fatherhood trainer for the Prison Entrepreneurship Program, and, as mentioned, founder of The Great Dads Project, Keith has touched the lives of thousands. ( 32:05    )

www.thegreatdadsproject.org/dads

 

TO LISTEN, use the player below or left-click the link. To access the file right-click and “Save Link as …” to save to your audio device), CLICK HERE FOR LINK


(START/STOP Audio)

 

How to Be a Great Dad: No Matter What Kind of Father You Had (Guest: Keith Zafren)

BTRadioIntRegister to WIN this book (see instructions at the bottom of this post).

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KZafrenphotoThe overall prognosis for children and teens without a father in the home is not good. From teen pregnancy to school and behavioral problems to youth suicide, the statistics point to a simple truth that active dads matter greatly in the lives of their children.

But a father in the home doesn’t always mean that relationships are as they should be. According to our guest on this program, Keith Zafren, founder of The Great Dads Project, fathers often share feelings of inadequacy and feel they will mess up, ultimately failing both themselves and their children.

Sharing from his own life’s story, as well as the story of men he has helped, including incarcerated fathers, Keith offers a profound message of hope. And it’s not complicated. It simply involves the faithful practice of three “As” of a father to his children: Affirmation, Acceptance and Affection. Keith will not only share about these “As” in this program, he will point out the impact they can have on young lives.

KZafrenBookKeith and Dr. Sutton will also touch on a deeper hurt in this program, something Keith calls the “Father Wound” and what is involved in healing it. (In fact, issues of the “Father Wound” are so important they will be the topic of another program on The Changing Behavior Network in the near future.)

Keith Zafren is a Jack Canfield certified Success Skills Trainer and the author of the award-winning book, How to Be a Great Dad: No Matter What Kind of Father You Had. Through his years of work as a pastor, as a founding board member and fatherhood trainer for the Prison Entrepreneurship Program, and, as mentioned, the founder of The Great Dads Project, Keith has touched the lives of thousands. (29:20)

http://www.thegreatdadsproject.org/dads/

TO LISTEN, use the player below or left-click the link. To access the file right-click and “Save Link as …” to save to your audio device), CLICK HERE FOR LINK


(START/STOP Audio)

WinThisBookSend an email with “Great Dads” in the subject line to admin@thechangingbehaviornetwork.com
The winner will be determined in a drawing from the emails received (and we will discard all emails after a winner is determined.) Registrations will be taken as long as this post is in the “top” position. RULES and PROCESS for book giveaway.

 

 

From Incorrigible to Incredible: What Toby Taught Us, Part 2 (Guest: Charmaine Hammond)

(This is the concluding part of a two-part radio program.)

When Charmaine Hammond and her husband, Chris, adopted a five-year-old Chesapeake Bay retriever named Toby, little did they know what the next few years held in store. They were tempted to give up on the big dog, but they didn’t. In return, Toby became an award-winning pet-assisted therapy dog and, in his brief lifetime, achieved Chicken Soup fame and left an indelible paw print in the hearts of all those he touched.

This is a story of love, patience, perseverence and faithfulness. It shows us once again what can be accomplished when we accept others unconditionally.

Charmaine is a professional speaker and seminar leader from the Edmonton area of Alberta. She travels the US and Canada speaking on topics of communication and team building to corporate audiences. But Charmaine continues to promote the values of kindness and caring to Toby’s favorite audience: school children. (17:38)

For more information about A Million Acts of Kindness: Toby’s Global Mission, the movie currently being made on Toby’s life and story, Charmaine’s work as a speaker/trainer, or her heartwarming bestseller, On Toby’s Terms, go to this website:

www.OnTobysTerms.com

 

TO LISTEN, use the player below or left-click the link. To access the file right-click and “Save Target as …” to save to your audio device), CLICK HERE FOR LINK

From Incorrigible to Incredible: What Toby Taught Us, Part 1 (Guest: Charmaine Hammond)

When Charmaine Hammond and her husband, Chris, adopted a five-year-old Chesapeake Bay retriever named Toby, little did they know what the next few years held in store. They were tempted to give up on the big dog, but they didn’t. In return, Toby became an award-winning pet-assisted therapy dog and, in his brief lifetime, achieved Chicken Soup fame and left an indelible paw print in the hearts of all those he touched.

This is a story of love, patience, perseverence and faithfulness. It shows us once again what can be accomplished when we accept others unconditionally.

Charmaine is a professional speaker and seminar leader from the Edmonton area of Alberta. She travels the US and Canada speaking on topics of communication and team building to corporate audiences. But Charmaine continues to promote the values of kindness and caring to Toby’s favorite audience: school children. (15:27)

For more information about A Million Acts of Kindness: Toby’s Global Mission, the movie currently being made on Toby’s life and story, Charmaine’s work as a speaker/trainer, or her heartwarming bestseller, On Toby’s Terms, go to this website:

www.OnTobysTerms.com

 

TO LISTEN, use the player below or left-click the link. To access the file right-click and “Save Target as …” to save to your audio device), CLICK HERE FOR LINK

From Incorribible to Incredible: What Toby Taught Us–Part Two (Guest: Charmaine Hammond)

(This is the concluding part of a two-part radio program.)

When Charmaine Hammond and her husband, Chris, adopted a five-year-old Chesapeake Bay retriever named Toby, little did they know what the next few years held in store. They were tempted to give up on the big dog, but they didn’t. In return, Toby became an award-winning pet-assisted therapy dog and, in his brief lifetime, achieved Chicken Soup fame and left an indelible paw print in the hearts of all those he touched.

This is a story of love, patience, perseverence and faithfulness. It shows us once again what can be accomplished when we accept others unconditionally.

Charmaine is a professional speaker and seminar leader from the Edmonton area of Alberta. She travels the US and Canada speaking on topics of communication and team building to corporate audiences. But Charmaine continues to promote the values of kindness and caring to Toby’s favorite audience: school children. (17:38)

For more information about A Million Acts of Kindness: Toby’s Global Mission, the movie currently being made on Toby’s life and story, Charmaine’s work as a speaker/trainer, or her heartwarming bestseller, On Toby’s Terms, go to this website:

www.OnTobysTerms.com

 

TO LISTEN, use the player below or left-click the link. To access the file right-click and “Save Target as …” to save to your audio device), CLICK HERE FOR LINK

From Incorrigible to Incredible: What Toby Taught Us–Part One (Guest: Charmaine Hammond)

When Charmaine Hammond and her husband, Chris, adopted a five-year-old Chesapeake Bay retriever named Toby, little did they know what the next few years held in store. They were tempted to give up on the big dog, but they didn’t. In return, Toby became an award-winning pet-assisted therapy dog and, in his brief lifetime, achieved Chicken Soup fame and left an indelible paw print in the hearts of all those he touched.

This is a story of love, patience, perseverence and faithfulness. It shows us once again what can be accomplished when we accept others unconditionally.

Charmaine is a professional speaker and seminar leader from the Edmonton area of Alberta. She travels the US and Canada speaking on topics of communication and team building to corporate audiences. But Charmaine continues to promote the values of kindness and caring to Toby’s favorite audience: school children. (15:27)

For more information about A Million Acts of Kindness: Toby’s Global Mission, the movie currently being made on Toby’s life and story, Charmaine’s work as a speaker/trainer, or her heartwarming bestseller, On Toby’s Terms, go to this website:

www.OnTobysTerms.com

 

TO LISTEN, use the player below or left-click the link. To access the file right-click and “Save Target as …” to save to your audio device), CLICK HERE FOR LINK