Tag Archives: parenting coach

Children of Divorce: Let Them Love Their Other Parent Without Guilt (Rosalind Sedacca)

BTAboutThemWe’ve all heard again and again warnings for parents to not badmouth their former spouse to the children following the divorce. Clearly, while it’s tempting to put Mom or Dad down for the way they’ve hurt you in the marriage, venting to the kids puts them in a very uncomfortable position. They love both of their parents and don’t want to hear about the ways your Ex misbehaved or initiated your divorce.

RSedaccaPhotoBut there’s another factor that doesn’t get as much attention worth bringing up in this same conversation. And that’s forbidding or discouraging your children from expressing love or talking about their other parent around you. Kids naturally want to talk about their lives including things they might have done with their other parent, especially the fun times. If they’re made to feel guilty when bringing up the subject of an adventure with Dad, a shopping spree with Mom, new place they visited or a fun movie they’ve watched together with their other parent, they feel repressed. Consequently, they stop sharing, don’t open up about their feelings as readily, and close up around you. That’s not the path to healthy parent-child communication. Once that door is closed, it can take years of therapy to pry it open again, if ever.

How Do I Tell the KidsPhotoAll parents need to be aware that when a child expresses love, admiration or respect for their other parent, it doesn’t diminish their love for you. Competition for affection between parents, divorced or otherwise, is a no-win road to alienating your children. Parents who are supportive of their children’s relationship with their other parent, even when that parent forms a new romantic relationship with another partner, enable their children to express themselves freely. When children don’t have to guard themselves from “saying the wrong thing” in front of Mom or Dad their relationship with you is more flowing, natural and trusting. And they’ll come to respect and acknowledge you more for your maturity as they themselves age.

And when children do express disapproval of their other parent, don’t chime in with your own negative agenda. They may want to vent, but they’re not looking to handle your emotional baggage. Judgments creating guilt, shame or blame can back-fire on you and close the door to trusting communication. Be a caring listener, supportive in helping them find solutions for their challenges. Divorced or not, that’s what parents are for.

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Rosalind Sedacca is a Divorce & Parenting Coach, Founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network and author of How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children – with Love! To learn more about the ebook, go to www.howdoitellthekids.com. For her free ebook on Post-Divorce Parenting, free ezine, coaching services and other valuable resources for parents, visit: www.childcentereddivorce.com.

January is International Child-Centered Divorce Month (Guest: Rosalind Sedacca)

RSedaccaPhotoJanuary is International Child-Centered Divorce Month. Through the tireless efforts of Rosalind Sedacca, the Voice of Child-Centered Divorce, emphasis in addressing the needs of children in the context of divorce is growing in priority and practice worldwide. More and more, divorce attorneys, mediators, coaches, financial planners, educators and therapists are integrating child-centered principles and are more than pleased with the results.

Intl Child-Centered Divorce Month logo - newListen as Rosalind shares the story of her own divorce as she explains how and why she chose a child-centered approach, and how these early efforts grew into her work today as a Divorce and Parenting Coach and founder of The Child-Centered Divorc Network. And, of course, Rosalind will share the many (FREE) opportunities and resources being offered to parents world-wide during International Child-Centered Divorce Month.

Rosalind is a contributing expert, author and guest blogger on the topic of child-centered divorce, and she is the author of the internationally acclaimed, innovative and creative ebook, How Do I Tell the Kids About the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children–with Love. (25:44)

www.divorcedparentsupport.com/ebook

TO LISTEN, use the player below or left-click the link. To access the file right-click and “Save Target as …” to save to your audio device), CLICK HERE FOR LINK

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