Tag Archives: The Voice of Child-Centered Divorce

10th Anniversary of International Child-Centered Divorce Month (Guest: Rosalind Sedacca, CDC)

Radio-style Interview, The Changing Behavior NetworkIt was a joy once again for me to visit with Rosalind about the important work of those advocating child-centered divorce. From an idea to a worldwide mission, Rosalind has steered a steady course over the years, and the positive impact has been noted in the lives of young people. But there’s plenty of work yet to do, so listen in as we bring you “10th Anniversary of International Child-Centered Divorce Month.” –JDS

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10th Anniversary of International Child-Centered Divorce Month, Rosalind Sedacca

International Child-Centered Divorce Month

January has been established as International Child-Centered Divorce Month. January of 2017 is the 10th anniversary of ICCDM and its outreach in helping parents, therapists, attorneys, educators, mediators and other divorce specialists focus on the needs of children and teens when divorce plans are being made.

Many free resources and gifts related to child-centered divorce are being offered during International Child-Centered Divorce Month. You won’t want to miss a single part of this excellent opportunity.

To help us understand more clearly the importance and methodology of child-centered divorce is our special guest, Rosalind Sedacca, Certified Divorce Coach and the Voice of Child-Centered Divorce. Rosalind will emphasize, using her own story, why the needs of children should be a priority in divorce, how best to explain divorce to one’s own children and why a child-centered, collaborative approach is so important.

International Child-Centered Divorce Month, Child-Centered Divorce Network

Rosalind Sedacca

Rosalind is the author of an innovative storybook approach to communicating divorce to a child, an approach that informs while it supports and upholds a youngster’s identity, dignity and sense of value. Her diligence and effort resulted in a successful and highly acclaimed e-book entitled, How Do I Tell the Kids About the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children –With Love.

Rosalind’s work with the Child-Centered Divorce Network, which she founded, has been acknowledged on five continents worldwide. In her speaking, writing, blogging and media appearances, Rosalind continues to share the message of child-centered divorce. The International Child-Centered Divorce Month is yet another way to showcase what is being done. The link below takes you to the website and a free e-book from Rosalind, Post Divorce Parenting: Success Strategies for Getting It Right. (29:09)

www.divorcedparentsupport.com/ebook

 

TO LISTEN, use the player below or left-click the link. To access the file right-click and “Save Link as …” to save to your audio device), CLICK HERE FOR LINK


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Make Smart Choices for Post-Divorce Co-Parenting Success (Rosalind Sedacca, CCT)

BTAboutThemDivorce doesn’t end your co-parenting relationship with your former spouse. It only changes some of the form. It is still essential to create a working relationship focused on the optimum care and concern for your children. Every co-parenting relationship will be unique, affected by your post-divorce family dynamics. However, there are guidelines that will enhance the results for children in any family. Here are some crucial points to keep in mind to maximize your co-parenting success.

RSedaccaPhotoRespect your co-parent’s boundaries
Chances are your former spouse has a different parenting style than you, with some conflicting rules. Rather than stress yourself about these differences, learn to accept that life is never consistent and it may actually be beneficial for your kids to experience other ways of doing things. Step back from micro-managing your co-parent’s life. If the kids aren’t in harm’s way, let go and focus on only the most serious issues before you take a stand.

Create routine co-parent check-ins
The more co-parents communicate with one another about the children, the less likely for small issues to grow into major problems. Select days/times for phone, email or in-person visits. Discuss in advance visitation transfer agreements. List who’s responsible for what – each day, week or month. Food, homework, curfews, health issues, allowances, school transportation, sport activities, play dates, holiday plans and more should be clearly agreed upon, when possible – or scheduled for further discussion. Once you have a clear parenting plan structured, follow it to the best of your ability. But allow for last-minute changes and special “favors” to facilitate cooperation.

How Do I Tell the KidsPhotoEncourage your child’s co-parent relationship
Regardless of your personal feelings about your ex, your children need a healthy connection with their other parent. Keep snide comments to yourself and don’t discuss your parenting frustrations with your children. Encourage your kids to maintain a caring, respectful relationship with their other parent. Remind them about Mom or Dad’s birthday and holiday gifts. Make time in the weekly schedule for phone calls, cards, email and letters to keep the children’s connection alive when your co-parent is at a distance. Your children will thank you when they grow up.

Be compassionate with your in-laws
Remember that a Grandparent’s love doesn’t stop after divorce. If your children had a healthy bond with your former spouse’s extended family, don’t punish them by severing that connection. Children thrive on family attachments, holiday get-togethers and traditions they’ve come to love. Grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins can be a great source of comfort to children during stressful times and a sense of continuity with the past. Dissolving those relationships is hurtful to both your children and the other family. Think long and hard before making such an emotionally damaging decision.

Above all, be flexible. When you allow calls from your co-parent when the kids are in your home, they will be more receptive to your calls when the tables are turned. Remember, you are still a parenting team working on behalf of your children. That commonality should enable you to overlook the thorns in your co-parenting relationship and focus on the flowering buds that are the children you are raising. ###

Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is a Divorce and Parenting Coach, founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network and author of How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children — with Love! To get her free ebook on Post-Divorce Parenting: Success Strategies for Getting It Right!, free ezine, blog, coaching services and other valuable resources for parents facing, moving through or transitioning after divorce, visit: www.childcentereddivorce.com.

Misunderstanding Your Child’s Emotional Awareness After Divorce … Teens, Too! (Rosalind Sedacca, CTT)

BTAboutThemParenting is always complex. Parenting following a divorce can add many other layers of distraction and confusion to the mix. That makes it even more important for parents to be aware of how their children are responding to the divorce.

RSedaccaPhotoOne common error parents make is that of misunderstanding the stage of development their children are at which can lead to unrealistic expectations. Too often parents will assume that their child possesses a better handle on their emotions and a deeper understanding of human nature than is really possible at their age. So when their child acts out or otherwise misbehaves, it’s easy to misconstrue their intentions.

Parents mistakenly see these small beings as little adults who bring adult reasoning and comprehension to daily circumstances. With that mindset, it’s easy to get disappointed when our child’s behavior doesn’t live up to our expectations.

When divorce enters the family dynamic, we often forget that our children are processing their feelings with limited skills and emotional awareness. We all know the complexities of divorce can become an enormous challenge for adults. Imagine the ramifications on youngsters or even teens!

Give your kids a break. How unfair (and unrealistic) is it to expect your children to fully understand what Mom and Dad are going through and then respond with compassion? Emotional maturity doesn’t fully develop until well into our twenties. Yet divorced parents frequently put the burden on their children to be empathetic, understanding and disciplined in their behavior when they themselves struggle to access those mature attributes themselves.

Parents can be especially misguided in their expectation about teens. By nature teenagers are very self-absorbed. They don’t yet have the full capacity to put others’ needs ahead of their own. In addition, most teens are not very future-focused, nor are they motivated by lectures about consequences. Part of the parenting process is to role model positive traits and to demonstrate the advantages of setting goals, planning ahead for the future, etc. Unrealistic parental expectations lead to needless conflicts with our teens which can easily result in a sense of confusion, insecurity, guilt or shame within their fragile psyches. Why get angry at your teen for not displaying adult maturity at a time when your own maturity may certainly be at question?

By understanding your children’s stages of emotional development as they grow, you are less likely to make the mistake of confiding information they can’t psychologically handle or asking them to play the role of mediator, therapist or personal spy. You’ll be more likely to have reasonable expectations for them and refrain from feeling disappointed when your child behaves as the child they still are! ###

Rosalind Sedacca, CCT, is a Divorce & Parenting Coach and author of How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children — with Love! For her free ebook on Post-Divorce Parenting, free articles, coaching services and valuable resources on divorce and parenting issues, visit: http://www.childcentereddivorce.com.

 

Child-Centered Divorce: Getting It Right, Part Two (Guest: Rosalind Sedacca)

RSedaccaPhotoCouples don’t marry so they can divorce. But, as we all know, divorce is a reality of society and of life. Regardless of the circumstances, divorce brings changes.

How does divorce affect the children involved? Are there signs that signal they are having difficulty? How do we explain and prepare them for a divorce, and how does a parent communicate with their former spouse regarding the activities and welfare of their children?

These are critical and challenging questions; children and teens depend on us to answere them well. Our guest on this program, Rosalind Sedacca, the Voice of Child-Centered Divorce, is an experienced expert on this topic. We are fortunate to feature her in this extended two-part interview.

How Do I Tell the KidsPhotoNot only will Rosalind point out the challenges and pitfalls divorced parents need to address, she will share about a proven, story-based method for explaining divorce and it’s resulting changes to the children. Her approach makes sense, and young people clearly benefit from it.

Rosalind is not only the founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network, she is a contributing expert, author and popular guest blogger on this critically important topic. She is the author of the internationally acclaimed ebook, How Do I Tell The Kids About the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children–With Love. (23:22)

http://www.childcentereddivorce.com

TO LISTEN, use the player below or left-click the link. To access the file right-click and “Save Link as …” to save to your audio device), CLICK HERE FOR LINK


(START/STOP Audio)

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Child-Centered Divorce: Getting it Right, Part One (Guest: Rosalind Sedacca)

RSedaccaPhotoCouples don’t marry so they can divorce. But, as we all know, divorce is a reality of society and of life. Regardless of the circumstances, divorce brings changes.

How does divorce affect the children involved? Are there signs that signal they are having difficulty? How do we explain and prepare them for a divorce, and how does a parent communicate with their former spouse regarding the activities and welfare of their children?

These are critical and challenging questions; children and teens depend on us to answere them well. Our guest on this program, Rosalind Sedacca, the Voice of Child-Centered Divorce, is an experienced expert on this topic. We are fortunate to feature her in this extended two-part interview.

How Do I Tell the KidsPhotoNot only will Rosalind point out the challenges and pitfalls divorced parents need to address, she will share about a proven, story-based method for explaining divorce and it’s resulting changes to the children. Her approach makes sense, and young people clearly benefit from it.

Rosalind is not only the founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network, she is a contributing expert, author and popular guest blogger on this critically important topic. She is the author of the internationally acclaimed ebook, How Do I Tell The Kids About the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children–With Love. (23:22)

http://www.childcentereddivorce.com

TO LISTEN, use the player below or left-click the link. To access the file right-click and “Save Link as …” to save to your audio device), CLICK HERE FOR LINK


(START/STOP Audio)

Email this page

Child-Centered Divorce: Getting It Right, Part One (Guest: Rosalind Sedacca)

RSedaccaPhotoCouples don’t marry so they can divorce. But, as we all know, divorce is a reality of society and of life. Regardless of the circumstances, divorce brings changes.

How does divorce affect the children involved? Are there signs that signal they are having difficulty? How do we explain and prepare them for a divorce, and how does a parent communicate with their former spouse regarding the activities and welfare of their children?

These are critical and challenging questions; children and teens depend on us to answere them well. Our guest on this program, Rosalind Sedacca, the Voice of Child-Centered Divorce, is an experienced expert on this topic. We are fortunate to feature her in this extended two-part interview.

How Do I Tell the KidsPhotoNot only will Rosalind point out the challenges and pitfalls divorced parents need to address, she will share about a proven, story-based method for explaining divorce and it’s resulting changes to the children. Her approach makes sense, and young people clearly benefit from it.

Rosalind is not only the founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network, she is a contributing expert, author and popular guest blogger on this critically important topic. She is the author of the internationally acclaimed ebook, How Do I Tell The Kids About the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children–With Love. (23:22)

http://www.childcentereddivorce.com

TO LISTEN, use the player below or left-click the link. To access the file right-click and “Save Target as …” to save to your audio device), CLICK HERE FOR LINK


(START/STOP Audio)

CLICK HERE to go to Part Two