Category Archives: Inspirational

Helping Kids with Self-Confidence (Guest: Dr. Frank Sileo)

Radio-style Interview, The Changing Behavior NetworkYoungsters that struggle with self-confidence have difficulty in most areas requiring performance and achievement. In this program from our archives, psychologist Dr. Frank Sileo discusses issues youngsters can face regarding self-confidence and how they can be helped and encouraged.
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Helping Kids with Self-Confidence, Frank J. SileoHow Much Do They Need?

How much self-confidence does a child or adolescent need? “Enough to function,”some might say.

But is that really true? Is that all we want for our children, enough self-confidence to function, to barely get by? No, we want more that that for them. We want them to have the ability to handle the challenges of life as they come, without being sidetracked by doubt or feelings of being less than capable.

And we want them to THRIVE, and we want them to encourage others to do the same.

Helping the Child That Struggles

But what about the youngster with poor self-confidence? What are the signs that tell us a child or teen is struggling? What can we do to help this youngster handle daily challenges or unique and new situations more effectively? How do we help him or her interpret a few mistakes as part of learning a new skill, and how do we encourage them not to beat themselves up with negative self-talk?

Don't Put Yourself Down in Circus Town, Frank J. SileoListen in to this excellent program as your host, Dr. James Sutton, interviews prominent child and adolescent psychologist, Dr. Frank J. Sileo, regarding issues of self-confidence in young people. It’s a timely topic, anytime.

Dr. Frank J. Sileo

Dr. Sileo is the founder and director of the Center for Psychological Enhancement in Ridgewood, New Jersey. And, since 2010, he has been consistently recognized as one of New Jersey’s top kid doctors. Dr. Sileo has written numerous articles on a variety of topics related to mental health, and he has also written a number children’s picture books. One of them, Sally Sore Loser: A Story About Winning and Losing, was awarded a Gold Medal from the prestigious Moms’ Choice Awards. The focus of this program is his picture book for kids entitled Don’t Put Yourself Down in Circus Town: A Story About Self-Confidence. (27:41)

www.drfranksileo.com

TO LISTEN, use the player below or left-click the link. To access the file right-click and “Save Link as …” to save to your audio device), CLICK HERE FOR LINK


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Helping Kids with Self-Confidence (Guest: Dr. Frank J. Sileo)

BTRadioIntDr. Frank J. Sileo is not only a top psychologist in New Jersey, he has written a number of books for children on topics that affect them. This interview focuses on self-confidence as it pertains to young people. Welcome to an interview with Dr. Sileo entitled, “Helping Kids with Self-Confidence.”

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Helping Kids with Self-Confidence, Frank J. SileoHow Much Do They Need?

How much self-confidence does a child or adolescent need? “Enough to function,”some might say.

But is that really true? Is that all we want for our children, enough self-confidence to function, to barely get by? No, we want more that that for them. We want them to have the ability to handle the challenges of life as they come, without being sidetracked by doubt or feelings of being less than capable.

And we want them to THRIVE, and we want them to encourage others to do the same.

Helping the Child That Struggles

But what about the youngster with poor self-confidence? What are the signs that tell us a child or teen is struggling? What can we do to help this youngster handle daily challenges or unique and new situations more effectively? How do we help him or her interpret a few mistakes as part of learning a new skill, and how do we encourage them not to beat themselves up with negative self-talk?

Don't Put Yourself Down in Circus Town, Frank J. SileoListen in to this excellent program as your host, Dr. James Sutton, interviews prominent child and adolescent psychologist, Dr. Frank J. Sileo, regarding issues of self-confidence in young people. It’s a timely topic, anytime.

Dr. Frank J. Sileo

Dr. Sileo is the founder and director of the Center for Psychological Enhancement in Ridgewood, New Jersey. And, since 2010, he has been consistently recognized as one of New Jersey’s top kid doctors. Dr. Sileo has written numerous articles on a variety of topics related to mental health, and he has also written five children’s picture books (with more on the way). One of them, Sally Sore Loser: A Story About Winning and Losing, was awarded a Gold Medal from the prestigious Moms’ Choice Awards. His latest book, the focus of this program, is Don’t Put Yourself Down in Circus Town: A Story About Self-Confidence. (27:41)

www.drfranksileo.com

TO LISTEN, use the player below or left-click the link. To access the file right-click and “Save Link as …” to save to your audio device), CLICK HERE FOR LINK


(START/STOP Audio)

 

10 Ways to Teach Kindness to Our Kids (Mike Ferry)

Mike Ferry photo 3We all want our kids to find happiness in life. Thanks to the “science of happiness,” research has identified several habits that make lifelong happiness more likely to occur. Kindness is one of these.

Being kind is a cost-free way to improve your emotional well-being. Plus, it doesn’t require a prescription! When we are kind, our brains experience an infusion of dopamine, the “happiness neurotransmitter.” The more kindness and compassion we display for others, the happier we become. Plus, kindness will make our world a safer and more sustainable place for our children and future generations.

For many of us, kindness may not be an innate attribute. That’s okay, because we can get better at it with practice. Here is a list of ways that we can teach kindness to our kids.

1. Model kindness. Our kids are always paying attention to our actions, whether or not we realize it. When interacting with other people, try your best to use a kind tone.

2. Give a generous tip. If you’re eating out with the kids, leave a tip that is more than expected. Explain that the server will appreciate being rewarded for a job well done.

THAIBookCover3. Bake treats for a neighbor. Kids will enjoy baking the goodies and seeing the smiles on the receiving end. Doing this will also lead to a stronger social connection, one of the most important predictors of happiness.

4. Develop empathy. We are more likely to show compassion if we have a better understanding of other people’s perspectives and experiences. Discuss the ways that characters from your favorite books and movies might have different opinions based on their unique backgrounds and situations. When your kids are studying history in school, encourage them to try to understand major events from as many viewpoints as possible. You can do this with current events as well.

5. Write a note of appreciation. Leave a kind message for the housekeeper at your hotel on the notepad by the bed. Have your kids add their own words of gratitude.

6. Serve others. Clean up trash at the park, gather athletic gear for needy kids, or serve food at a food kitchen as a family. Faith communities often have family service projects. If not, you could help get the ball rolling. For more ideas, try the HandsOn Network.

7. Make a micro-loan. Lend money to an entrepreneur in a developing country (or even your own) through Kiva. You can select the country, loan amount, and see the actual person who will receive your money. It feels great to know that your small investment is changing the lives of individuals and communities. Plus, your kids will improve their understanding of geography and global economics.

8. Send a homemade card to Grandma and Grandpa. It could be to celebrate a birthday, holiday, or for no particular reason at all. Most kids enjoy the arts and crafts elements of these projects, and grandparents love to receive them. Talk about the warm fuzzy feeling they’ll have when Grandma calls to say “thank you.”

9. Go green. Reduce, reuse, and recycle when possible. Discuss our role in the ecosystem. Explain that our actions have an impact on other living beings, and that some of these consequences may be felt for generations. When we care about what happens beyond our immediate circumstances, we are more compelled to act with kindness towards others.

10. Follow the leaders. Learn about historical figures famous for their devotion to the common good. Mother Teresa, Gandhi, and Martin Luther King, Jr. are excellent places to start. Talk about ways that you could bring their philosophies and actions into your own lives.

 

Mike Ferry is the author of Teaching Happiness and Innovation. A middle school history teacher in Richmond, VA, Mike is raising four (mostly happy) children with his wife, Jenny. For more information about teaching happiness to children, visit www.happinessandinnovation.com.

 

How to Be a Great Dad: No Matter What Kind of Father You Had (Guest: Keith Zafren)

BTRadioIntRegister to WIN this book (see instructions at the bottom of this post).

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KZafrenphotoThe overall prognosis for children and teens without a father in the home is not good. From teen pregnancy to school and behavioral problems to youth suicide, the statistics point to a simple truth that active dads matter greatly in the lives of their children.

But a father in the home doesn’t always mean that relationships are as they should be. According to our guest on this program, Keith Zafren, founder of The Great Dads Project, fathers often share feelings of inadequacy and feel they will mess up, ultimately failing both themselves and their children.

Sharing from his own life’s story, as well as the story of men he has helped, including incarcerated fathers, Keith offers a profound message of hope. And it’s not complicated. It simply involves the faithful practice of three “As” of a father to his children: Affirmation, Acceptance and Affection. Keith will not only share about these “As” in this program, he will point out the impact they can have on young lives.

KZafrenBookKeith and Dr. Sutton will also touch on a deeper hurt in this program, something Keith calls the “Father Wound” and what is involved in healing it. (In fact, issues of the “Father Wound” are so important they will be the topic of another program on The Changing Behavior Network in the near future.)

Keith Zafren is a Jack Canfield certified Success Skills Trainer and the author of the award-winning book, How to Be a Great Dad: No Matter What Kind of Father You Had. Through his years of work as a pastor, as a founding board member and fatherhood trainer for the Prison Entrepreneurship Program, and, as mentioned, the founder of The Great Dads Project, Keith has touched the lives of thousands. (29:20)

http://www.thegreatdadsproject.org/dads/

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WinThisBookSend an email with “Great Dads” in the subject line to admin@thechangingbehaviornetwork.com
The winner will be determined in a drawing from the emails received (and we will discard all emails after a winner is determined.) Registrations will be taken as long as this post is in the “top” position. RULES and PROCESS for book giveaway.

 

 

What is Self-Confidence, Anyway? (Dr. Frank Sileo)

BTSpotlightWe are featuring the work of psychologist Dr. Frank Sileo of Ridgewood, New Jersey in this post. His latest book, a children’s picture book entitled, Don’t Put Yourself Down in Circus Town: A Story About Self-Confidence touches on a very important topic regarding many children and teens today. For more information about the book, click on the photo of the cover in this post.

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FSileophoto2Parents and other caregivers in the life of a child play an important role in developing self-confidence in that youngster and others. When parents and others accept their children, even when they make mistakes, it provides the groundwork for children to develop positive feelings and thoughts about themselves. When parents do this, they are providing the foundation for self-confidence.

As a parent or caregiver, it is very rewarding to see children exhibit self-confidence in various areas of their lives, from academics to sports to playing a musical instrument, to name just a few. Children who possess self-confidence tend to do well in school, take on challenges, do their best, persist in activities, and have an overall more positive view of themselves.

Definition

Self-confidence can be defined as our beliefs or thoughts about our skills and abilities. Examples of self-confident thoughts might be, “I am good at math,” “I am a good singer” or “I do well in school.” Children with self-confidence trust in their abilities, have realistic expectations, know their strengths and weaknesses, and are able to adjust to difficult or challenging situations. Children who possess self-confidence tend to jump into new situations with realistic thoughts about being successful at a task.

Self-confidence is built through repeated practice over time. When children practice in small steps, they build self-confidence. Persistence in a task, even when mistakes and mishaps happen, builds self-confidence. Confidence builds through action.

CircusTown_72dpiWhen There’s Difficulty

Children who lack self-confidence typically rely on the approval of others, such as parents, teachers and coaches, in order to feel good about themselves. They may avoid things or be reluctant to try new things. They may engage in self-deprecating statements or negative self-talk like, “I’m stupid,” “I’m no good at anything,” or “I’ll never succeed,” which results in feelings of anxiety, depression or despair. Children with low self-confidence often compare themselves to others constantly because they believe they do not measure up. Moreover, less confident children may be more prone to acting-out behaviors such as temper tantrums, crying, avoidance, and withdrawal from others and from tasks.

It should be noted that self-confidence is not a universal experience. For instance, children may feel confident in certain areas of their lives, while feeling less confident in other domains. An example of this might be a child that is confident as a reader, but has lower self-confidence in his or her math skills.

Building Self-Confidence

How can parents and other caregivers build self-confidence in children and teens? Here are several suggestions.

Communicate with your children. When children engage in self-deprecating statements, don’t be too quick to counteract them. Teach them coping and solutions to their problems. Problem-solve with them.

Model self-confidence for your children. Be mindful how you handle your own disappointments, obstacles and failure.

Focus on effort, not on results. When we focus on the effort, we are praising the steps needed to reach a goal, ultimately building on self-confidence.

Encourage kids to practice. The more they practice, the greater their chances of success and greater confidence. When kids don’t do this, they give up, act out, feel anxious and consequently display low self-confidence.

If you find that your child continues to struggle with confidence issues to the point that it interferes with academics, activities or relationships, it is recommended you consult with a mental health professional for further help. ###

 Dr. Frank Sileo, founder and Executive Director of The Center for Psychological Enhancement, LLC, in Ridgewood, New Jersey, is a licensed psychologist specializing in work with children and adolescents. He has written five books for children on topics including lactose intolerance, Crohn’s Disease, winning and losing, homesickness and self-confidence. His most recent book is entitled, Don’t Put Yourself Down in Circus Town: A Story About Self-Confidence. [Dr. Sileo’s website]

 

 

Helping Kids with Self-Confidence (Guest: Dr. Frank Sileo)

BTRadioInt

 

 

FSileophoto2How much self-confidence does a child or adolescent need? Some might say: Enough to function.

But is that really true? Is that all we want for our children, enough self-confidence to function, to barely get by?  No, we want more that that for them. We want them to have the ability to handle the challenges of life as they come, without being sidetracked by doubt or feelings of being less than capable.

And we want them to THRIVE, and encourage others to do the same.

But what about the youngster with poor self-confidence? What are the signs that tell us a child or teen is struggling? What can we do to help this youngster handle daily challenges or unique and new situations more effectively? How do we help him or her interpret a few mistakes as part of learning a new skill, and how do we encourage them not to beat themselves up with negative self-talk?

CircusTown_72dpiListen in to this excellent program as your host, Dr. James Sutton, interviews prominent child and adolescent psychologist, Dr. Frank Sileo, regarding issues of self-confidence in young people. It’s a timely topic, anytime.

Dr. Sileo is the founder and director of the Center for Psychological Enhancement in Ridgewood, New Jersey. And, since 2010, he has been consistently recognized as one of New Jersey’s top kid doctors. Dr. Sileo has written numerous articles on a variety of topics related to mental health, and he has also written five children’s picture books. One of them, Sally Sore Loser: A Story About Winning and Losing, was awarded a Gold Medal from the prestigious Moms’ Choice Awards. His latest book, the focus of this program, is Don’t Put Yourself Down in Circus Town: A Story About Self-Confidence. (27:18)

www.drfranksileo.com

TO LISTEN, use the player below or left-click the link. To access the file right-click and “Save Link as …” to save to your audio device), CLICK HERE FOR LINK


(START/STOP Audio)

 

Raising Happy, Confident Kids, Part Two (Guest: Jonathan Hewitt)

JonathanHewittphotoParents want their children to be happy, of course. But descriptions of “happy” can vary widely. Folks like author Dennis Prager (Happiness is a Serious Problem) have been telling us for years how there can be serious issues with how we chase after happiness, and how we try to capture it for our children.

Jonathan Hewitt, our guest on this program, takes another giant step in exposing something that is hurting our kids; he calls it the American Happiness Formula. Here it is: Look Good + Perform Well + Get Approval = Happiness. As a result of dependence on “outside” measures of accomplishment and success, our children are showing more stress, anxiety and depression than ever before. In a refeshingly candid fashion, Jonathan shares from personal experience the harm the American Happiness Formula can create in young people and their families.

Hewitt_cover_withEndorsement.inddFortunately, there is hope, and Jonathan offers plenty of it. His training, extensive research and experience in psychology, martial arts and life education have led to some welcomed answers. In this in-depth, two-part interview, Jonathan outlines a formula for happiness that emphasizes increased focus, confidence, resilience and social intelligence.

Jonathan and his wife, Lana, teach their “growth from within” principles to young people at their Life Ki-do Academy in Austin, Texas. Their success over the years has been remarkable. The Hewitts have now shared with parents what they’ve learned and what they teach. It’s in their new book, Life Ki-do Parenting: Tools to Raise Happy, Confident Kids from the Inside Out. (22:07)

www.lifekido.com

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Raising Happy, Confident Kids, Part One (Guest: Jonathan Hewitt)

JonathanHewittphotoParents want their children to be happy, of course. But descriptions of “happy” can vary widely. Folks like author Dennis Prager (Happiness is a Serious Problem) have been telling us for years how there can be serious issues with how we chase after happiness, and how we try to capture it for our children.

Jonathan Hewitt, our guest on this program, takes another giant step in exposing something that is hurting our kids; he calls it the American Happiness Formula. Here it is: Look Good + Perform Well + Get Approval = Happiness. As a result of dependence on “outside” measures of accomplishment and success, our children are showing more stress, anxiety and depression than ever before. In a refeshingly candid fashion, Jonathan shares from personal experience the harm the American Happiness Formula can create in young people and their families.

Hewitt_cover_withEndorsement.inddFortunately, there is hope, and Jonathan offers plenty of it. His training, extensive research and experience in psychology, martial arts and life education have led to some welcomed answers. In this in-depth, two-part interview, Jonathan outlines a formula for happiness that emphasizes increased focus, confidence, resilience and social intelligence.

Jonathan and his wife, Lana, teach their “growth from within” principles to young people at their Life Ki-do Academy in Austin, Texas. Their success over the years has been remarkable. The Hewitts have now shared with parents what they’ve learned and what they teach. It’s in their new book, Life Ki-do Parenting: Tools to Raise Happy, Confident Kids from the Inside Out. (22:07)

CLICK HERE for Part Two

www.lifekido.com

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Letters to God: Diary of an Unsilenced Generation (Guest: Cassandra Smith)

CSmithphotoAmong the Millennial generation , there are young people who experienced their childhood during a time when many families were at-risk. In fact, some counselors, clergy and mental health professionals call this the “Orphan Generation.” Why is this, what happened, and what can we do about it?

Fortunately, our guest on this on this program, Cassandra Smith, discovered a way for us to know more about what these young people are really thinking about us, about themselves, and about the challenges of life they face.

LTGCover1Cassandra collected thousands of anonymous handwritten letters to God as she worked with Acquire the Fire youth conferences across the United States and Canada several years ago. What she discovered, and what she’ll share with us, were not only the deepest needs of these young people, but their intense desire for help and hope in their lives.

Cassandra is an honors graduate from Indiana University of Pennsylvania. She has worked extensively with youth for twelve years, including tours for four years with Teen Mania’s Acquire the Fire and years of work with Youth with a Mission. Today, you’ll find her deeply involved in speaking engagements at events and churches, where she creates a deeping awareness of the needs of youth today, as well as how these young people can discover a path to restoration as they search for authentic and lasting hope and change. (25:23)

www.LetterstoGodMovement.com

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Protecting Our Children from Cyber Addiction (Guest: Kevin Roberts)

What a timely interview! Exactly what are the risks when our children spend too much time playing video games or chatting on the Internet? Can texting become a problem?

Our guest on this program, Kevin Roberts, has answers to these questions, answers he learned the hardest way possible. Kevin is a recovering cyber addict; he can speak to the costs of video gaming and Internet addiciton, including employment problems, distancing of relationships, and even health and fitness concerns.

Kevin shares warning signs parents (and teachers) should look for if they suspect a youngster’s video gaming is getting out of control. He will also outline steps that can be taken to initiate immediate improvement. (26:25)

Kevin is the author of Cyber Junkie: Escape the Gaming and Internet Trap, and he regularly trains therapists, physicians, nurses, educators and parents on the perils of the Internet and video gaming. His informative website is:

www.kevinjroberts.net

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