Tag Archives: Hold the Cheese Please! A Story for Children about Lactose Intolerance

Helping Kids with Self-Confidence (Guest: Dr. Frank Sileo)

Radio-style Interview, The Changing Behavior NetworkYoungsters that struggle with self-confidence have difficulty in most areas requiring performance and achievement. In this program from our archives, psychologist Dr. Frank Sileo discusses issues youngsters can face regarding self-confidence and how they can be helped and encouraged.
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Helping Kids with Self-Confidence, Frank J. SileoHow Much Do They Need?

How much self-confidence does a child or adolescent need? “Enough to function,”some might say.

But is that really true? Is that all we want for our children, enough self-confidence to function, to barely get by? No, we want more that that for them. We want them to have the ability to handle the challenges of life as they come, without being sidetracked by doubt or feelings of being less than capable.

And we want them to THRIVE, and we want them to encourage others to do the same.

Helping the Child That Struggles

But what about the youngster with poor self-confidence? What are the signs that tell us a child or teen is struggling? What can we do to help this youngster handle daily challenges or unique and new situations more effectively? How do we help him or her interpret a few mistakes as part of learning a new skill, and how do we encourage them not to beat themselves up with negative self-talk?

Don't Put Yourself Down in Circus Town, Frank J. SileoListen in to this excellent program as your host, Dr. James Sutton, interviews prominent child and adolescent psychologist, Dr. Frank J. Sileo, regarding issues of self-confidence in young people. It’s a timely topic, anytime.

Dr. Frank J. Sileo

Dr. Sileo is the founder and director of the Center for Psychological Enhancement in Ridgewood, New Jersey. And, since 2010, he has been consistently recognized as one of New Jersey’s top kid doctors. Dr. Sileo has written numerous articles on a variety of topics related to mental health, and he has also written a number children’s picture books. One of them, Sally Sore Loser: A Story About Winning and Losing, was awarded a Gold Medal from the prestigious Moms’ Choice Awards. The focus of this program is his picture book for kids entitled Don’t Put Yourself Down in Circus Town: A Story About Self-Confidence. (27:41)

www.drfranksileo.com

TO LISTEN, use the player below or left-click the link. To access the file right-click and “Save Link as …” to save to your audio device), CLICK HERE FOR LINK


(START/STOP Audio)

 

What is Self-Confidence, Anyway? (Dr. Frank Sileo)

BTSpotlightWe are featuring the work of psychologist Dr. Frank Sileo of Ridgewood, New Jersey in this post. His latest book, a children’s picture book entitled, Don’t Put Yourself Down in Circus Town: A Story About Self-Confidence touches on a very important topic regarding many children and teens today. For more information about the book, click on the photo of the cover in this post.

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FSileophoto2Parents and other caregivers in the life of a child play an important role in developing self-confidence in that youngster and others. When parents and others accept their children, even when they make mistakes, it provides the groundwork for children to develop positive feelings and thoughts about themselves. When parents do this, they are providing the foundation for self-confidence.

As a parent or caregiver, it is very rewarding to see children exhibit self-confidence in various areas of their lives, from academics to sports to playing a musical instrument, to name just a few. Children who possess self-confidence tend to do well in school, take on challenges, do their best, persist in activities, and have an overall more positive view of themselves.

Definition

Self-confidence can be defined as our beliefs or thoughts about our skills and abilities. Examples of self-confident thoughts might be, “I am good at math,” “I am a good singer” or “I do well in school.” Children with self-confidence trust in their abilities, have realistic expectations, know their strengths and weaknesses, and are able to adjust to difficult or challenging situations. Children who possess self-confidence tend to jump into new situations with realistic thoughts about being successful at a task.

Self-confidence is built through repeated practice over time. When children practice in small steps, they build self-confidence. Persistence in a task, even when mistakes and mishaps happen, builds self-confidence. Confidence builds through action.

CircusTown_72dpiWhen There’s Difficulty

Children who lack self-confidence typically rely on the approval of others, such as parents, teachers and coaches, in order to feel good about themselves. They may avoid things or be reluctant to try new things. They may engage in self-deprecating statements or negative self-talk like, “I’m stupid,” “I’m no good at anything,” or “I’ll never succeed,” which results in feelings of anxiety, depression or despair. Children with low self-confidence often compare themselves to others constantly because they believe they do not measure up. Moreover, less confident children may be more prone to acting-out behaviors such as temper tantrums, crying, avoidance, and withdrawal from others and from tasks.

It should be noted that self-confidence is not a universal experience. For instance, children may feel confident in certain areas of their lives, while feeling less confident in other domains. An example of this might be a child that is confident as a reader, but has lower self-confidence in his or her math skills.

Building Self-Confidence

How can parents and other caregivers build self-confidence in children and teens? Here are several suggestions.

Communicate with your children. When children engage in self-deprecating statements, don’t be too quick to counteract them. Teach them coping and solutions to their problems. Problem-solve with them.

Model self-confidence for your children. Be mindful how you handle your own disappointments, obstacles and failure.

Focus on effort, not on results. When we focus on the effort, we are praising the steps needed to reach a goal, ultimately building on self-confidence.

Encourage kids to practice. The more they practice, the greater their chances of success and greater confidence. When kids don’t do this, they give up, act out, feel anxious and consequently display low self-confidence.

If you find that your child continues to struggle with confidence issues to the point that it interferes with academics, activities or relationships, it is recommended you consult with a mental health professional for further help. ###

 Dr. Frank Sileo, founder and Executive Director of The Center for Psychological Enhancement, LLC, in Ridgewood, New Jersey, is a licensed psychologist specializing in work with children and adolescents. He has written five books for children on topics including lactose intolerance, Crohn’s Disease, winning and losing, homesickness and self-confidence. His most recent book is entitled, Don’t Put Yourself Down in Circus Town: A Story About Self-Confidence. [Dr. Sileo’s website]

 

 

Helping Kids with Self-Confidence (Guest: Dr. Frank Sileo)

BTRadioInt

 

 

FSileophoto2How much self-confidence does a child or adolescent need? Some might say: Enough to function.

But is that really true? Is that all we want for our children, enough self-confidence to function, to barely get by?  No, we want more that that for them. We want them to have the ability to handle the challenges of life as they come, without being sidetracked by doubt or feelings of being less than capable.

And we want them to THRIVE, and encourage others to do the same.

But what about the youngster with poor self-confidence? What are the signs that tell us a child or teen is struggling? What can we do to help this youngster handle daily challenges or unique and new situations more effectively? How do we help him or her interpret a few mistakes as part of learning a new skill, and how do we encourage them not to beat themselves up with negative self-talk?

CircusTown_72dpiListen in to this excellent program as your host, Dr. James Sutton, interviews prominent child and adolescent psychologist, Dr. Frank Sileo, regarding issues of self-confidence in young people. It’s a timely topic, anytime.

Dr. Sileo is the founder and director of the Center for Psychological Enhancement in Ridgewood, New Jersey. And, since 2010, he has been consistently recognized as one of New Jersey’s top kid doctors. Dr. Sileo has written numerous articles on a variety of topics related to mental health, and he has also written five children’s picture books. One of them, Sally Sore Loser: A Story About Winning and Losing, was awarded a Gold Medal from the prestigious Moms’ Choice Awards. His latest book, the focus of this program, is Don’t Put Yourself Down in Circus Town: A Story About Self-Confidence. (27:18)

www.drfranksileo.com

TO LISTEN, use the player below or left-click the link. To access the file right-click and “Save Link as …” to save to your audio device), CLICK HERE FOR LINK


(START/STOP Audio)

 

In the Spotlight (Christy Monson and Dr. Frank Sileo)

BTSpotlight

Christy Monson

Christy Monson, LMFT, retired, built a successful counseling practice in Las Vegas, Nevada. During that time, she worked with children as well as families. She found that opening up a communication in families made a world of difference in the well-being of the children as well as the parents.

CMonsonphotoThe Sandy Hook school shooting rocked the entire nation with grief. At this time, Christy felt it was important to give parents and children everywhere a vehicle to talk about and to share their feelings. Familus, a family-friendly publisher, was eager to print the book. So the picture book for children, Love, Hugs and Hope: When Scary Things Happen, was born.

This book is not only an important tool for helping parents and children through national disasters, it is also an excellent vehicle for aiding families with personal struggles, such as divorce, death of a family member, loss of a pet, or any other crises that might occur.

LHH Small2In times of difficulty, Love, Hugs and Hope helps kids:

1. Identify their feelings

2. Share them with someone safe

3. Find a way to release them

4. Reframe them in a positive way

5. Find love and emotional support

 

The Midwest Book Review had this to say about Love, Hugs and Hope:

A beautiful two-part message is embedded at the core of this

lovely book, with perfectly balanced text and illustration. It

proclaims: “Love chases away hate (on a valentine held by a

penguin) and light chases away the dark (with a lit candle held

by a duck in the darkness with stars).”

 

Other self-help books by Christy Monson include Becoming Free: A Woman’s Guide to Internal Strength and Family Talk: How to Organize Family Meetings to Solve Problems and Strengthen Relationships, both published by Familius. They are available at Amazon and on her website.

Visit Christy’s website [link] for free downloads on helping children through divorce, death and tragedy, along with other pertinent information for helping children become the best the can be.

To access Christy’s radio-style interviews and articles on The Changing Behavior Network, use the search box on the right, entering “Christy Monson.”

 

Dr. Frank Sileo

 

FSileophoto2Dr. Frank J. Sileo is a licensed psychologist specializing in work with children and adolescents. He is the founder and Executive Director of The Center for Psychological Enhancement, LLC, located in Ridgewood, New Jersey. Not only has he been in practice there since 1995, he has been consistently voted one of New Jersey’s Favorite Kid Docs by readers of New Jersey Family magazine since 2010.

Dr. Sileo has taught counseling and psychology courses at the college level and he currently supervises doctoral students in the clinical psychology program at Fairleigh Dickinson University. He’s also currently on the Health Advisory Board for Bergen Health and Life magazine as a Child/Adolescent Psychology expert.

A thorough researcher and gifted writer and speaker, Dr. Sileo has written extensively both professional and general interest articles that have been published and quoted in psychological journals, national newspapers, magazines, podcasts, websites, radio and television. He speaks and keynotes with authority on the subjects of bullying, self-esteem, stress management, coping with chronic illness, and the psychological aspects of  Crohn’s disease.

SallySoreLoserCover2Dr. Sileo’s was on the Support Group Task Force for the National Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation of America. His expertise on this topic, as well as his skill for communicating with young people, shows through in the first books ever written for children on Crohn’s Disease and lactose intolerance: Toilet Paper Flowers: A Story for Children about Crohn’s Disease and Hold the Cheese Please! A Story for Children about Lactose Intolerance. He then wrote Bug Bites and Campfires: A Story for Kids about Homesickness and Sally Sore Loser: A Story about Winning and Losing. (Sally Sore Loser was awarded the Gold Medal Award from the prestigious Mom’s Choice Award.)  His most recent book is Don’t Put Yourself Down in Circus Town: A Story about Self-Confidence.

To learn more about Dr. Sileo’s work, books and press, go to his website [link]. (He has also contributed complimentary materials to our “Freebies” section on this site.)  To hear Dr. Sutton interview him regarding the books he has written, use the search box on the right by entering “Dr. Frank Sileo.”