Tag Archives: Love

The Shoes

BTLifesMoments1-300x76Sometimes a small, a very small, gesture on our part can be perceived as a gift of great proportion to the one receiving it. As this short and simple story shows, a moment in time and a gesture of concern and kindness can offer encouragement and hope, often when it is most needed.

 

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The Scene:

Early 1900s

It’s a cold and blustery December day in New York City

 

coldA young boy was standing in front of a shoe store, barefooted, peering into the window. He was shivering with cold as a lady approached him from the street.

“Young man, what are looking at so intently in that store window?”

“I was just asking God for a pair of shoes,” the lad replied.

She smiled and reached for his hand. As she led him into the store, she asked the clerk for several pairs of socks for the boy. Then she requested a basin of water and a towel.

shoesThe lady took the boy to the back of the store, and, removing her gloves, knelt down and washed his feet, then dried them with the towel. She then put some new woolen socks on the boy’s feet and purchased for him a new pair of shoes.

As a finishing gesture, the lady tied up the remaining pairs of socks and handed the bundle to the youngster.

Gently touching him on the head, she exclaimed, “No doubt, my little fellow, you are more comfortable now.”

As she turned to leave the boy reached for her hand. As tears filled his eyes, he gazed into her face and asked a question that tugged on her heart:

“ARE YOU GOD’S WIFE?”

 

Childhood Trauma: Helping Youngsters Recover (Guest: Christy Monson)

BTRadioInt-300x75-300x75This excellent interview with Christy Monson was featured under a slightly different title on April 6, 2014. Unaddressed, the effects of childhood trauma can be substantial. Christy has some great insight on the issues affecting the traumatized child, and how we can help these youngsters recover more quickly and more effectively. -JDS

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Christy Monson, childhood trauma, the traumatized childHow does one explain and process tragedy, trauma and loss to a child? Although youngsters have the ability to handle these circumstances as well as most adults, how we help and support them certainly matters.

In this program, Christy Monson, will share her insights and interventions for recognizing the behaviors and reactions of the tragedy-affected youngster and how we can help the grieving, traumatized and hurting child heal with our love and support. As Christy will explain, our role in helping this child stabilize and recover is a very important one.

Love, Hugs and Hope, When Scary Things Happen, Christy MonsonAn experienced Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Christy built a very successful counseling practice in Nevada and later in Utah. She is the author of Love, Hugs and Hope: When Scary Things Happen. This book for children is the focus of this program.

Christy has authored other books, also, including the soon-to-be released, The Family Council Guidebook: How to Solve Problems and Strengthen Relationships.

www.ChristyMonson.com

TO LISTEN, use the player below or left-click the link. To access the file right-click and “Save Target as …” to save to your audio device), CLICK HERE FOR LINK

The Shoes: A Story of Kindness and Giving

BTLifesMoments1-300x76This is not a story that directly relates to the spirit of the Christmas season; yet it does. A moment in time and a gesture of concern and kindness offer encouragement and hope, often when it is most needed.

 

………………………………………………….

The Scene:

Early 1900s

It’s a cold and blustery December day in New York City

 

coldA young boy was standing in front of a shoe store, barefooted, peering into the window. He was shivering with cold as a lady approached him from the street.

“Young man, what are looking at so intently in that store window?”

“I was just asking God for a pair of shoes,” the lad replied.

She smiled and reached for his hand. As she led him into the store, she asked the clerk for several pairs of socks for the boy. Then she requested a basin of water and a towel.

shoesThe lady took the boy to the back of the store, and, removing her gloves, knelt down and washed his feet, then dried them with the towel. She then put some new woolen socks on the boy’s feet and purchased for him a new pair of shoes.

As a finishing gesture, the lady tied up the remaining pairs of socks and handed the bundle to the youngster.

Gently touching him on the head, she exclaimed, “No doubt, my little fellow, you are more comfortable now.”

As she turned to leave the boy reached for her hand. As tears filled his eyes, he gazed into her face and asked a question that tugged on her heart:

“ARE YOU GOD’S WIFE?”

 

 

 

 

In the Spotlight (Christy Monson and Dr. Frank Sileo)

BTSpotlight

Christy Monson

Christy Monson, LMFT, retired, built a successful counseling practice in Las Vegas, Nevada. During that time, she worked with children as well as families. She found that opening up a communication in families made a world of difference in the well-being of the children as well as the parents.

CMonsonphotoThe Sandy Hook school shooting rocked the entire nation with grief. At this time, Christy felt it was important to give parents and children everywhere a vehicle to talk about and to share their feelings. Familus, a family-friendly publisher, was eager to print the book. So the picture book for children, Love, Hugs and Hope: When Scary Things Happen, was born.

This book is not only an important tool for helping parents and children through national disasters, it is also an excellent vehicle for aiding families with personal struggles, such as divorce, death of a family member, loss of a pet, or any other crises that might occur.

LHH Small2In times of difficulty, Love, Hugs and Hope helps kids:

1. Identify their feelings

2. Share them with someone safe

3. Find a way to release them

4. Reframe them in a positive way

5. Find love and emotional support

 

The Midwest Book Review had this to say about Love, Hugs and Hope:

A beautiful two-part message is embedded at the core of this

lovely book, with perfectly balanced text and illustration. It

proclaims: “Love chases away hate (on a valentine held by a

penguin) and light chases away the dark (with a lit candle held

by a duck in the darkness with stars).”

 

Other self-help books by Christy Monson include Becoming Free: A Woman’s Guide to Internal Strength and Family Talk: How to Organize Family Meetings to Solve Problems and Strengthen Relationships, both published by Familius. They are available at Amazon and on her website.

Visit Christy’s website [link] for free downloads on helping children through divorce, death and tragedy, along with other pertinent information for helping children become the best the can be.

To access Christy’s radio-style interviews and articles on The Changing Behavior Network, use the search box on the right, entering “Christy Monson.”

 

Dr. Frank Sileo

 

FSileophoto2Dr. Frank J. Sileo is a licensed psychologist specializing in work with children and adolescents. He is the founder and Executive Director of The Center for Psychological Enhancement, LLC, located in Ridgewood, New Jersey. Not only has he been in practice there since 1995, he has been consistently voted one of New Jersey’s Favorite Kid Docs by readers of New Jersey Family magazine since 2010.

Dr. Sileo has taught counseling and psychology courses at the college level and he currently supervises doctoral students in the clinical psychology program at Fairleigh Dickinson University. He’s also currently on the Health Advisory Board for Bergen Health and Life magazine as a Child/Adolescent Psychology expert.

A thorough researcher and gifted writer and speaker, Dr. Sileo has written extensively both professional and general interest articles that have been published and quoted in psychological journals, national newspapers, magazines, podcasts, websites, radio and television. He speaks and keynotes with authority on the subjects of bullying, self-esteem, stress management, coping with chronic illness, and the psychological aspects of  Crohn’s disease.

SallySoreLoserCover2Dr. Sileo’s was on the Support Group Task Force for the National Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation of America. His expertise on this topic, as well as his skill for communicating with young people, shows through in the first books ever written for children on Crohn’s Disease and lactose intolerance: Toilet Paper Flowers: A Story for Children about Crohn’s Disease and Hold the Cheese Please! A Story for Children about Lactose Intolerance. He then wrote Bug Bites and Campfires: A Story for Kids about Homesickness and Sally Sore Loser: A Story about Winning and Losing. (Sally Sore Loser was awarded the Gold Medal Award from the prestigious Mom’s Choice Award.)  His most recent book is Don’t Put Yourself Down in Circus Town: A Story about Self-Confidence.

To learn more about Dr. Sileo’s work, books and press, go to his website [link]. (He has also contributed complimentary materials to our “Freebies” section on this site.)  To hear Dr. Sutton interview him regarding the books he has written, use the search box on the right by entering “Dr. Frank Sileo.”

 

 

Identifying and Cultivating Your Child’s Core Strengths (Dr. Daniel Trussell)

BTAboutThem
(Email subscribers: Go to the website to see the many “freebies” offered by our guest experts and to listen to radio-style interviews on the podcast player.)

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Most parents want to help develop their child’s strengths but don’t know where to start. It can be overwhelming to determine what your child’s strengths are and then to set up experiences where your child is challenged to activate those strengths.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAWhen I ask parents to describe their child’s strengths, I get answers like, “He’s good at getting his way,” or “She excels in soccer” or “He’s a natural artist.” While these are all skills worth cultivating, I want to challenge you to think differently about strengths. In their landmark book, Character Strengths and Virtues ( Oxford University Press, 2004), Peterson and Seligman developed a taxonomy of universal virtues and the strengths associated with each of those six virtues.

Six Virtues
The six virtues found in all cultures include Wisdom, Courage, Humanity Justice, Temperance and Transcendence.

Acting on these virtues not only defines an individual as living a superior life, but also leads to greater life satisfaction both individually and collectively.

Strengths
Peterson and Seligman assigned different strengths that embody each of the universal virtues. They are listed below.

Wisdom and Knowledge— acquiring and using knowledge

Creativity

Curiosity

Judgement and critical thinking

Love of learning

Perspective

 

Courage— accomplishing goals in the face of opposition

Bravery

Persistence

Integrity

Vitality

 

Humanity— strengths of befriending and tending to others

Love

Generosity

Social and emotional intelligence

 

Justice–strengths that build community

Teamwork

Fairness

Leadership

 

Temperance–strengths that protect against excess

Forgiveness and mercy

Humility

Prudence

Self-control

 

Transcendence— strengths that connect us to the larger universe

Appreciation of beauty

Gratitude

Hope

Humor

Spirituality

 

While some of these strengths become evident in the first years of life, others do not develop until adolescence. Although young children can express forgiveness, for example, it is almost always conditional and typically includes an element of revenge. It requires emotional and intellectual development, along with an abundance of life experience to be able to show mercy, forgiveness without revenge.  Young children can  tell jokes and be funny, but humor, the capacity to change another’s affect through bittersweet observation, is often not cultivated until much later in life.

Cultivating Core Strengths

To cultivate a child’s core strengths, that child must be exposed to activities that align with their strengths. No child will have all the virtues and strengths; a good rule of thumb is to determine the top five and the lowest five.  Plan abundant activities that allow a child to use their top strengths and limit activities that require use of their lowest strengths to maximize life satisfaction and general well-being.

If you child is high in appreciation of beauty, you could attend art exhibits, hike to beautiful places or find environments that allow her to get in touch with her appreciation and awe. Conversely, if your child is low in persistence, assign chores that don’t pay great attention to details.

To download a list of activities associated with each strength mentioned here, send me an email to drdanieltrussell@gmail.com or go to 264 Character Building Activities for Kids

 Daniel Trussell, Ph.D., LPC, NCC, CPCS is author of How Families Flourish, a parenting guide using the constructs of applied positive psychology. To learn more about his program go to http://www.howfamiliesflourish.com

 

Helping the Tragedy-affected Child (Guest: Christy Monson)

CMonsonphotoHow does one explain and process tragedy, trauma and loss to a child? Although youngsters have the ability to handle these circumstances as well as most adults, how we help and support a traumatized child certainly matters.

In this program, Christy Monson, will share her insights and interventions for recognizing the behaviors and reactions of the tragedy-affected youngster and how we can help the grieving, traumatized and hurting child heal with our love and support. As Christy will explain, our role in helping this child stabilize and recover is a very important one.

LHH Small2An experienced Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Christy built a very successful counseling practice in Nevada and later in Utah. She is the author of Love, Hugs and Hope: When Scary Things Happen. This book for children is the focus of this program.

Christy has authored other books, also, including the soon-to-be released, The Family Council Guidebook: How to Solve Problems and Strengthen Relationships.

www.ChristyMonson.com

TO LISTEN, left-click the link. To access the file right-click and “Save Target as …” to save to your audio device), CLICK HERE FOR LINK